Be Careful What You Wish for...
by Lio
Summary: Known throughout the WOEICS fanfic community as a fic the author took her good sweet time to finish. Two years of off and on writing amounted in THIS... ug... I'll do a revision sooner or later but.. what? What is it about? Oh! Er... The Chief gets a chan


  
"Be careful what you wish for...." Part 1  
  
by Lio  
  
Carmen breathed a sigh of relief as she successfully hacked into ACME's computer.  
"That's one thing that when the way I planned today," she thought, "I wonder if   
the Chief is worried about me..."  
  
He was.  
  
"Carmen if you ever let things get that out of hand again I will instantly  
give Zack and Ivy orders to shoot you out of the sky!!!!!!" he fumed.  
  
"Hello Chief," Carmen said with a smile.  
  
"Hello? Hello? You could have died today and all you can say is hello?!?!?!"  
  
"All right... Hello Chief how are you today?"   
  
The Chief's electronic head turned a bright angry red as he tried to talk calmly.   
  
"Well Carmen I'm doing as well as can be expected for someone, if they were   
human would have suffered 6 consecutive heart attack since this morning!" As   
he continued his head grew redder and redder and began to swell like a balloon.   
"I'm in the same condition that anyone would be in after seeing the remains of   
a great detective fall several stories and then catching herself inches from certain death!  
That's how I'm feeling!" With that the Chief's head burst like a party favor.  
  
"Chief it's okay, I'm fine and no one else got hurt."  
  
"I'm sorry Carmen but when that cable failed there was no way you should   
have survived! Pure luck is the only reason you're here talking to me."  
  
"Luck and repelling equipment Chief."  
  
"I wouldn't go appraising your inventions too highly Carmen, they're what got  
you into that mess."  
  
"They're also what got me out. Besides Sara can fix the locking system before  
my next heist."  
  
"I can't believe that Psycho Sara is still working for you."  
  
"What? Who's psycho?" asked a confused Carmen.  
  
"Your loyal employee Sara Bellum. Psycho Sara is her nickname on the net."   
  
Carmen smirked "Thankfully she doesn't know yet. If she did every VILE agent  
would know in a few minutes! Still it does suit her...."  
  
"It fits her to a 't' that's why I'm worried." explained the Chief. "I don't   
think she has that extra glazed donut she needs to make a full dozen."  
  
"Chief I'll know if she needs more help than I've already given her. At   
this point in time she's doing fine and I trust her to use the help I've provided   
if she ever needs it."  
  
"I don't care if she has a clean bill of health from Freud himself! I'm still  
concerned. There's always the possibility of human error in any situation."  
  
"Chief I understand and accept the risks of taking her back into VILE. Besides  
what do you know about human error?"  
  
"Hey! I may be a robot simulation of a human head but I've got feelings   
too!" huffed Chief "For instance right now I'm feeling annoyed that you won't   
consider my views about Sara Bellum, and hurt that you're making fun of me in the   
process!"  
  
"Chief, I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd take it personally." soothed Carmen,  
"and even though I don't agree with your view of Sara I will consider it. All right?"  
  
The Chief calmed down. "All right."   
  
"Now any other human feelings you need to get off your mind?"  
  
"Well I'm feeling amazed that after all this time you could still give me  
ulcers if I had a stomach," he confessed.  
  
Carmen laughed. "I'll take that as a complement, Chief."  
  
"Soooooo," began the Chief who had started to relax back to his normal self,  
"Aside from today's brush-with-death how have you been?"  
  
"Just fine, if not bored out of my head. It's been business as usual around  
here. If you don't count the frequent unexplainable power surges that have been  
happening lately, it's downright mind-numbing."  
  
"Same here at ACME. All's been pretty quiet except for us having to deal   
with a brilliant, though at this point in time shortsighted, former employee."   
joked the Chief. "She got it into her head that it would be more challenging to   
cause crimes rather than prevent them and ever since then we've been chasing her  
around the globe trying to stop her!"  
  
"Really Chief? Gee is she dangerous?" asked Carmen playing along.  
  
"No but she's annoying a lot of people and destroying any chance of becoming  
a law abiding citizen of any country."  
  
"Don't worry Chief!" Carmen declared, "I'll bring her in for you!"  
  
The Chief smiled. "How long has it been since you last said that?"  
  
Carmen stopped to think. "I think the last time I said that was during my  
last case at ACME before.....well before everything changed." She smiled at the  
old memory "I used to say it frequently. It was pretty cheesy, even for the eighties...."  
  
"Still I wouldn't mind hearing it again once in a while."  
  
"What, do you want me to start adding it into my daily conversations? Chief  
I do care for you very much but I am definitely not going to..."  
  
"No, I mean I'd like hearing you speak it back at ACME once in a while."  
  
Carmen sighed "Chief let's not go through this again. I've told you before,  
I can't come back to ACME yet, and I still can't."  
  
"I could work something out. Change a few files create a few ID papers...."  
  
"CHIEF!" exclaimed Carmen, shocked.  
  
"Well I could..."  
  
"Chief, in case you've forgotten, I'm a criminal! And a very well known   
one! I can't just disappear off the face of the earth!"  
  
"You have before."  
  
"If you're referring to when I faked my death, I was living in a cave for   
a week. That isn't an experience that I would like to relive."   
  
"But you could survive..."  
  
"Chief there is no way I would ever come back to ACME!" Carmen   
burst out.   
  
For a second they were both speechless.   
  
"Well if you feel that way, from now on I'll just leave you alone," said   
the Chief softly. He started to break the connection.  
  
"No! Chief wait! I didn't mean it like that!"  
  
"Then how did you mean to say it?" asked Chief as he came back into focus.  
  
"I didn't mean to say it at all! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings in   
any way. I don't want to stop talking to you or break any connections I might still  
have at ACME. I just wanted you to stop pestering me about something I don't   
plan on doing!" After she said it Carmen realized that that had come out wrong   
as well.   
  
"Really."  
  
"Chief cut it out! You know what I mean."  
  
"What do you mean Carmen?"  
  
"Man, what has gotten into him?" Thought Carmen. Just as she was going to  
explain, the lights went out in the room and the computer went dead.   
  
"ARRGH! What a time for another blackout!" Carmen yelled into the dark. A   
minute later as the lights popped back on she checked the computer she had been   
working on for any sign of the Chief. The connection had been severed by the blackout   
and the computer started rebooting automatically. She sighed and slumped   
down into a nearby chair. She had never seen the Chief so annoyed at her choice   
of becoming a crook. "Could it be because of the failure of the locking system   
this afternoon?" she wondered out loud, "Stuff like that has never upset him   
before but maybe I pushed his limit one time too..."  
  
RERORERORERORERO....   
  
Carmen clapped her hands over her ears as a siren went off from inside the  
computer. She typed in the code to shut it off and checked the systems checklist  
for what was wrong. The blackout had erased quite a few important files. "Great.  
My day is just getting better and better," thought Carmen. She started to pick  
through the virtual wreckage to see if there was anything worth saving, when something  
caught her attention. A few of the files that were marked as erased had been  
picked up by VILE's mainframe and then strangely placed them in a computer   
elsewhere in the Manor. She traced the computer's location to Sara Bellum's laboratories.   
  
"Hmmm… maybe I should take the Chief's advice and have a talk with Sara..."   
  
  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Professor Sara Bellum was having just as bad a day as was her employer several   
floors up. Carmen was right about Sara wanting to turn over a new leaf, but she hadn't   
counted on Sara trying one more heist on her own before she did any flipping. Sara had been   
planning the Heist of the Century for months and she had finally figured out a way to create   
the perfect robot. A robot that looked, felt and acted human, one that could smell, taste and   
even feel pain. She had even been able to convince the Fake Chief from the Underground   
Training Facility to act as the brain and was ready to attack tonight. Her target: a top secret   
government laboratory that had created an advanced version of the chromoskimmer.  
  
"With this version we will be able to split our ion trail in three and let us function   
outside of the time stream if we wish," she had explained to the Fake Chief, "We can   
create the greatest crimes in History without leaving those Acme detectives any trace   
of where we will strike next! And the best part is that it's an implant! Once sewn in   
placed it can't be lost or stolen without taking a small chunk of yourself out with it!"  
  
'Boy she really is Psycho!' thought the fake chief but he asked, "Why can't I have a   
cool Terminator-esque body? Why do I have to settle for looking normal?"  
  
"It would have cost way too much! I have had enough problems trying to get this… little   
side project without drawing more attention to my costs. And secondly I am trying to break   
in using the only door they cannot bolt."  
  
She concentrated her attention on the keypad in front of her. "I   
have given you all the identifying marks of an employee of the laboratory.   
Everything you need has been imputed into the robot. I would go myself but   
the break in is too dangerous for a human to attempt. And this particular   
facility has had droids break into it before." She turned and faced the Fake  
Chief, "What I need is a robot that will act like a human, one that has   
human reactions, free will and, when equipped with them, senses." Some lights  
flashed on the console of one of the computers and Sara turned away to check  
the screen.   
  
"We're ready. Go back to the computer and prepare to live as a human for a few  
hours. After I make this adjustment to the right hand..."  
  
As the Fake Chief disappeared Sara went over to the robot. It was as  
tall as any of the generic VILE henchmen and dressed as one as well. Sara   
removed the synthetic skin and tested and adjusted the reflexes on the   
fingers. When they were in satisfactory condition she slipped the skin back   
on and fastened it tightly.  
  
The Fake Chief reappeared, impatient. "Can we get this show on the   
road? What's the holdup?"  
  
"Just let me fasten you in," she told him as she restrapped the arm   
of the robot to what looked like the modern-day operating table of   
Dr. Frankenstein.  
  
"Is that really necessary? I mean do we really have to go the whole   
dramatic 9 yards?" asked the Fake Chief, a little concerned.  
  
"When you get transferred into the body you'll be experiencing pain   
for the first time. You will DEFINITELY not just sit there like nothing's   
happening. You might break some equipment or more importantly something on   
you. And for about a half hour after the procedure is complete you'll be in  
a state of complete amnesia. I don't want to waste time explaining things   
to you when you only have about 48 hours."  
  
"What happens after 48 hours? Do I explode?" he joked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
The Fake chief was stunned. "So you're just going to blow me up and   
not think a thing about it afterwards?!?"  
  
"No, of course not! I am going to transfer you out of the robot then   
use its basic programming to have it walk to a unpopulated area before its   
internal timer hits zero. There is no way I want anyone to find out how I did  
it until it's too late!"  
  
"Boy, you thought of everything!"  
  
"Thank you. Now go back, it's time."  
  
The Fake Chief disappeared again and Sara reached for the button   
that would start the process. It would only take a second...  
  
  
  
A second that was, unfortunately, already being occupied.  
  
"What do you mean Carmen?" asked the real Chief. He couldn't believe   
it. He knew that Carmen's choice of a career change was difficult to cope with   
but this afternoon had been too much. He had wanted to talk to her tonight to   
offer an alternative, any alternative (even if it was going back to ACME) to the   
life she was already leading. He couldn't cope with the thought of losing her again   
after she faked her death. But she acted as though it was out of the question, and   
had even said it! 'If this is what humanity is then I'm glad I'm only a head!' he   
thought. 'But...I wish I could experience humanity even for a little while...just   
to see what it's all about and to say I have some experience on the subject..."  
  
He searched Carmen's face for an answer...  
  
And the lights went out.  
  
  
  
Something had gone wrong.  
  
Sara didn't know what but something was very very wrong.  
  
Everything was in place, and every screen was reading, as it should,   
but suddenly she had a really bad feeling about all of this.   
  
"I'm probably just over-tired," she thought out loud, "I better   
concentrate on what I'm doing." With that she slowly turned each machine up   
to its highest level.  
  
The robot, which before had only writhed in silence, screamed in   
pain at the top of its lungs. Its formally featureless face began to form   
familiar peaks and valleys. It strained against the metal restraints and its  
face was a mask of agony.  
  
Sara slowly turned each machine down to zero, then turned them all   
off and walked over to the table. The now complete robot had relaxed and   
sunk back down onto the operating table unconscious taking shallow, but  
normal breaths. Fortunately, aside from the wires and sensors embedded in   
its forehead, the robot looked like anyone who was having a fitful sleep.  
  
Sara checked his on-body computer for statistics. Everything was   
fine.  
  
"And to think I was nervous!" she said to the air in general.  
  
"Nervous about what?" asked a voice behind her.  
  
Sara turned and saw the Fake Chief still in software form.  
  
"But...you're...how did...what...something.......SOMETHING'S WRONG!"  
  
"I'll say! And I've got questions! What's wrong? Why am I not in   
the 'bot? And who's the absolutely handsome cadaver on the operating table?"  
  
Sara looked at the robot. He did look familiar. Very much like the   
Fake Chief. 'But who...' Then it hit her who it must be.  
  
"She's going to kill me."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Carmen. This...this is Acme's Chief....I .....I don't know how   
but....what...I....what am I going to DO?"  
  
"Hey! Get a hold of yourself! Listen, you can just transfer him out   
of there him out right?"  
  
"Right..."  
  
"Then you can just pop me inside right?"  
  
"You're right," said Sara visibly relaxed "I can just get him out   
of there before he wakes up and no one will be the..."  
  
"Huh?.....Where am I?" asked a voice from the operating table.  
  
"Maybe you should aim for 'While He's Still Delirious'?" offered the  
Fake Chief.  
  
"What's with.....the ....flying toasters..?" asked the barely   
conscious Chief as his eyes darted around the room.  
  
"That IS a possibility...."  
  
"Oooo!...Flying doughnuts....chocolate.....why yes I'd love one...."  
babbled the Chief.  
  
"All right but we've got to hurry," decided Sara "we've wasted too   
much time-"  
  
There was a knock on the door.  
  
Sara and the Fake Chief froze.  
  
"Who is it?"  
  
"Sara, it's me, we have to talk," came Carmen's voice from the   
hallway.  
  
Sara started to turn white. "Just one moment...." She turned to the   
Fake Chief, "Quickly! Do some housekeeping!"  
  
The Fake Chief widened his screen and changed the picture. It looked  
as though the corner of the room that held the Chief and most of the   
incriminating machinery was a wall of lab animals tagged and caged.  
  
Sara opened the door and Carmen walked in uninvited and started   
casting a critical eye on the whole laboratory.  
  
"Carmen! This is a pleasant surprised! How have you been?"  
  
"Not so good. I've had a long day. And these blackouts are making   
it longer."  
  
"Ah...yes...well..... I hope the technicians figure it out   
soon.....and if you'll excuse me I'm starting an experiment that needs to   
be watched."  
  
"It seems that lately whenever there has been a blackout you were   
working on something important."  
  
"A strange coincidence..."  
  
"Yes and it's also strange that your computer hasn't rebooted with the rest of  
VILE's computers."  
  
"Well Carmen my laboratory DOES have its own generator."  
  
"Yes, but it's linked to the rest of VILE. Mike Roe Chip has a   
generator in his lab and he's been experiencing the blackouts. And   
something else is strange. I thought the last blackout erased some very   
important files but when I went to see what I could salvage I found out that  
they had actually been transferred to your computer."  
  
"Well that is very strange, but I still don't have a clue to what   
you are getting at." By this point in time Sara had turned so pale that  
blue veins had started to show in her neck.  
  
"Sara something is happening. You are as pale as a ghost, and you   
are avoiding my questions! Now, I may be your employer but I'm not going to   
kill you! Unless you have done something that is totally unforgivable I can   
help you!" With that Carmen put her hand against what she though was an   
animal cage and her arm disappeared to the elbow.  
  
Carmen looked at her arm, then at Sara.  
  
"It probably is unforgivable," said Sara "And I would like that   
I'm-not-going-to-kill-you statement on paper."  
  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
  
He woke in a dream. He floated along in the nothingness of eternity.  
The images passed before his eyes that were meaningless. He lived in a world  
of pain, that seemed unending. Then he stopped moving. He looked around and   
it looked as though he was trapped in a mine shaft. The walls surrounding   
him were so dark that it looked as though you could loose yourself in them.   
Shards of light were seemingly embedded into the wall and they shone weakly.   
Above him, from a distance of what seemed several miles, two bright   
pinpoints of blue light shone pulling him up.  
  
The Chief blinked.  
  
Everything came into focus. He wasn't trapped in a mine shaft, a   
young lady was looking over him. Her hair was long and dark and it had   
fallen forward partially shading a searing sterile light shining above him.   
The pinpoints of light were he astonishing blue eyes.  
  
'Why is she so sad?' the Chief thought, 'And why does she seem so   
familiar?'  
  
"We can do this now or we can wait," commented a far away woman's   
voice "It will be far more painful now but...."  
  
"I just want him back to normal ASAP," stated the Lady coldly, "Can   
you do that without my help?"  
  
The Chief was trying to pay attention but he was failing. He had a   
massive headache that made his entire body ache. It even hurt when he  
blinked. Pain gradually took the place of conscious thought and it was a   
while before he could understand anything that was going on.  
  
  
  
Carmen still couldn't believe it. The Chief was human! Actually, if   
you wanted to get technical, he was trapped in a humanistic droid. But it   
was still the closest he had ever come to the real thing. But even thought   
was amazing, it was getting annoying fast. He had been talking about   
flying chocolate doughnuts for an hour before switching over to talking in   
binary code.  
  
Even though Sara was working frantically to get her equipment   
ready for pulling the Chief out, Carmen was still incredibly angry at her.   
She wanted to fire her, punch her and throw her out of a ten story window   
at the same time but she defiantly had no time to show it. The only thing   
she thought about was that she needed to get the Chief out of there as fast   
as possible. She looked at him again. He still looked like he was in   
incredible pain and she was getting very annoyed and worried that she   
couldn't do a thing about it.  
  
"We're ready," Sara finally told Carmen "But I'm telling this is   
going to hurt him more than it's going to help him."  
  
Carmen ignored her. "Chief, listen. I know it's probably going to   
hurt, but you've got to cooperate with us on this one. We're going to pull   
you out and temporally place you in VILE's Data banks. Do you understand?"  
  
"101010010100101010111010101010011101," said the Chief   
sympathetically.  
  
The shock hit the Chief's body like a ton of bricks and he screamed   
harder and longer than he had before. The restraints on the table began to   
bend and twist as he desperately tried to pull away. Carmen empatheticly   
felt every jolt and wave of pain that he was given until she couldn't stand   
it any longer.  
  
"Turn it off! Can you hear me Sara? Turn it all off!" she screamed   
over the noise.  
  
Sara quickly turned the machines off and the Chief fell back   
unconscious on the operating table. Sara rushed over and checked the Chief's  
Onbody computer.  
  
"He's OK, but I would seriously consider waiting this time."  
  
"I hate to say it, but I agree with you on this one. How long do we   
have?"  
  
Sara glanced at her watch. "A little over 46 hours. He's got   
plenty of time."  
  
"All right. I'll come back in an hour to check on him. Until then,   
you and I are going to have to talk..."  
  
  
  
The next thing the Chief could understand was that the Lady was   
looking at him again. The light had been dimmed and his hands were now free,   
but the pain in his neck hadn't died down. And he was still curious about   
who she was.  
  
'Is she my sister?' he wondered 'Do I work for her? Is she my   
guardian angel?' he decided to try the last one.  
  
"Are you my guardian angel?" he asked. His voice sounded so far away!  
  
The Lady smiled. "Sort of. How are you holding up?"  
  
"My wrists hurt," the Chief told her, even though he knew it wasn't   
the most intelligent thing he could have said, but it was a heck of lot   
better than, 'I'm fine, and you?'  
  
The Lady took one of his arms and rubbed the wrist. As the feeling   
began to return in his arm the Chief grew more curious about who she was.   
'She's not my wife because there's no ring on her finger and she's too old   
to be my daughter, but somehow I feel that we're related. Maybe I should   
just ASK her...'  
  
"Excuse me.........I know this is going to be a bizarre   
question .........but who are you?......I mean......I know you........but   
how do I know you?"  
  
"Sara thought this might happen. You're suffering from temporary   
amnesia. You'll remember in time, and until you do I'll be right here."  
  
"Will I be in any more pain?"  
  
"Yes, but not for a while yet."  
  
"That's good." The Chief tried to shift his neck, but the movement   
was so painful it brought tears to his eyes.  
  
The Lady looked concerned. "Don't try to move around so much. Do you   
want an ice pack for your neck?"  
  
"It wouldn't hurt to try...would it?"  
  
The Lady laughed, "No, of course not! Hang on..."  
  
The Chief gingerly tinted his head, and saw the Lady walk up to a   
small freezer, hunt around for something, then come back with a flat blue  
block. She lifted the Chief's head up and placed the block at the base of   
his skull. A wonderful feeling flooded his bruised senses. The pain that   
had seemed as unstoppable as molten fire cooled, hardened, and then blew   
away like sand in a desert storm.  
  
"Is that better?" she asked.  
  
"Much! Thank you. I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner."  
  
"Maybe....because you've never tried it....ever?" offered the Lady  
uncomfortably.  
  
The Chief was confused.  
  
"Does the word 'ACME' mean anything to you?"  
  
"Not really."  
  
"It will," she told him mysteriously.  
  
The Chief was now really confused. "What are you talking about?"  
  
The Lady sighed "Let me put it this way: Have you ever felt pain,   
physical pain, like this before? Can you remember any other time you have   
felt even mildly like this?"  
  
"Well....Not pain like this! Not even something mildly similar to   
this! Of course I remember being happy, sad, lonely, mad,   
annoyed.......annoyed," He looked her in the eye. "I was annoyed with you   
about saying something before I got knocked out."  
  
"Yes! What else do you remember?"  
  
"Well you were trying to apologize....it was something trivial...and  
you were trying to find a way to explain yourself when everything went   
black....Black...you wear black gloves when you work! .....I can't remember   
what you do for a living yet but you wear black gloves and some kind of old   
fashioned hat that you wear at an angle.....and you almost never pull your   
hair back.....which I think is good, you look better...."  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"And there are two names that are very important to me...neither is   
yours....one is a girls name that has to do with a plant.....the other is   
an old-fashioned boys name...I can't remember if it begins with an X or a Z."  
  
"Yes. What else do you remember?"  
  
"I........I.........nothing."  
  
"Don't worry. As I said before, it'll all come back in time."  
  
The Chief yawned, "Well at least I know that much. Say, do you know   
how long I was asleep?"  
  
"A little over an hour, why?"  
  
"Well, If I slept that long, I shouldn't be tired. Can I get up and   
move around a little?"  
  
"An hour isn't long. In fact if you're still sleepy you could take   
a nap."  
  
"Well in that case, I'll consider it if you tell me what else will   
be done to me while I'm sleeping."  
  
The Lady laughed "Nothing will be removed or attached or modified   
while you're asleep. I swear it. Do you want a blanket?"  
  
"All right."  
  
The Lady covered him with a slightly scratchy gray blanket, and   
with some hesitation kissed him on the forehead. "I'll be right here until   
you wake up." She told him as she sat down on a nearby chair.  
  
The Chief began to get sleepy. "Thank you....you know....I still   
don't remember your name..."  
  
"It's Carmen."  
  
"Carmen....that's a lovely name...it suits you..." remarked the   
Chief as he fell asleep.  
  
As Carmen watched the Chief sleep she couldn't help feeling sad. The   
only time in what could be considered his life that he was even remotely   
close to being human, and he had to spend several hours of it trying to   
sleep off the damage she had done. Maybe she could make it up to him   
somehow. What would he have done with the time that he was now sleeping away?  
Well he had always wanted to go on a roller-coaster, taste pizza, drive a   
car...Carmen pushed that thought away. She was defiantly not going to let   
him drive. But there were other things she could show him, he had wanted   
to see what it was like to swim in the ocean, stand on top of the Empire   
State Building, to type....  
  
Carmen started making a mental list of all the things she had heard   
him talk about over the years. Maybe she could show him a piece of humanity   
before he had to go back into the world of microchips and data banks....   
  
There was a sharp knock on the door. "Boss? Are you in there?"  
  
"Yes, what is it?"  
  
"It's those two ACME detectives. No one can figure out how they   
hooked on to our frequency, but they made sure we can't kick them out.   
They're asking for you and if looks could kill..."  
  
"All right, hang on," she called. She took a brief glance at the   
Chief. She had promised that she would stay until he woke up but if she   
didn't calm Zack and Ivy down things could get messy. She replaced her hat   
and gloves and glanced again.   
  
"Can you stay here until I get back?" She asked him under her breath.  
  
"Mmnn," he said in his sleep which really could have meant anything.  
  
Carmen took that as a maybe and exited the lab.  
  
"How long have they been waiting?"  
  
"Just a few minutes."  
  
"Good." She turned to the henchman. "Listen, while I go clear this   
up, I need for you to guard this hallway."  
  
"This hallway?"  
  
"Yes, I think I know what they're mad about. And that thing is   
behind one of those doors and I don't want it to get damaged. Got it?"  
  
"Hey I don't want them to get any madder than they already are! I'll  
watch out for you, just please get up there!"  
  
  
The Chief dreamed he was running on a ribbon of light in a cold sea   
of darkness. He didn't know where he was going and he was getting tired but   
he didn't stop running. He ran until he found himself at the edge of a pit   
of light.   
  
He jumped.  
  
The Chief woke up and completely remembered who he was.....for a few  
seconds.  
  
"I'm.....I'm....," he stuttered trying to hold on to the memory. It   
faded away anyway. "Augh!!!....I had it! I knew who I was! I can't believe   
that I lost it again!" he exclaimed. ".........well....... at least I know   
it's there." He reassured himself.  
  
He sat up and looked around. The rooms lights had been dimmed and   
the ice pack Carmen had given him had been replaced with a pillow. The   
headache had dulled and he could move without being in intense pain. The   
Lady...Carmen...wasn't here.  
  
"So much for keeping her promises." He remarked to the room, "I   
wonder if that was what I was angry about." He felt stiff and he really   
needed to walk around. 'It probably wouldn't hurt to pace around a little   
to get the blood flowing in my legs.' He reasoned. So after testing his   
legs he swung them off the table and jumped onto the floor.  
  
Almost instantaneously his legs collapsed under him, and he found   
himself on the floor. "I know that's not supposed to happen." He reasoned.  
"Maybe if I used the table as leverage...and I hook my arms over the..and   
slowly put one foot....then the other..." he told himself as he manuvered   
his awkard new limbs. After a few twists and a lot of turns he ended up back  
on the operating table.  
  
"Okay....let's try this one more time..."  
  
  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
  
"All right Ivy, Zack, let's try this one more time...," Carmen   
reasoned. It had been at least two hours and she was still trying to explain.  
"Sara was attempting to create a robot for a heist behind my back. Through   
some freak accident the Chief is trapped in the robot. No, you can't talk to   
him because he's sleeping off the pain, No I didn't know about all of this   
when it happened and Yes I am seriously thinking about firing Sara."  
  
"You had no idea this was happening?" Zack asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then why didn't you look in to all those blackouts?"  
  
"I was going to! I've just been busy lately and I didn't have the   
time to look in to them personally."  
  
"How do we know you're telling the truth?" asked a cynical Ivy.  
  
Carmen sighed exasperated. Here they went again.  
  
  
  
It had taken a while but the Chief had finally figured out how to   
work his new body. It had been pretty dangerous for a while. When he was   
trying to shrug his shoulders his arms flew out and knocked over a tray of   
surgical instruments. When he had tried to sit down he had miscalculated   
and fallen on the floor. When he tried to stand up he tripped on his own   
feet.  
  
But now he had some control over himself, and he was pacing the lab   
floor thinking what he should do. It had been an hour since he woke up and   
Carmen still hadn't come back. He was starting to get this strange tingling   
in his stomach. It had been getting worse in the past half hour, and even   
though it wasn't painful, there was a rumbling in his stomach that had   
gotten too loud to ignore.  
  
"I'm going to have go exploring, there isn't a way around that, " he   
reasoned. "But I should probably wait for Carmen right?"  
  
His stomach growled angrily.  
  
"All right, I guess I'll go exploring now." He looked around for   
something to camouflage himself. He found the mask and cap of a VILE agent   
and, using a mirror, slipped them on. He opened the door and carefully   
looked both ways. Everything looked clear, so he headed to the end of the   
hallway that was flooded with light. At the end of the hallway there was a   
impatient looking guy dressed like he was.  
  
'Time to hit reverse' thought the Chief as he backed up.  
  
Unfortunately the guy spied him "Hey! Are you the next shift?"  
  
The Chief's mind sped. "Actually ....I was just done with   
my.... shift and I was trying to leave......You wouldn't know how to do   
that would you?"  
  
Thankfully the guard laughed. "Don't worry. This place is a maze.   
Sometimes even I have trouble getting around. This your first day?"  
  
"You could say that..."  
  
"Well listen," he pointed down the left corridor, "go down that way   
take a left and two rights and that'll bring you to the garage. You can get   
your car from there."  
  
"Thanks...thanks a lot..."  
  
"Don't mention it. Just tell Em Ploie to send another shift down   
here. I'm late and my wife is going to kill me!"  
  
"No problem." The Chief assured him as he got out of there as fast   
as he could.  
  
  
"Sooo.. the Chief is in Sarah's robot?" asked Zack.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And you ARE thinking about firing Sara?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"How can we trust you?"  
  
  
  
The Chief had followed the guards instructions exactly, and had   
found himself in one of the biggest garages he had ever seen. It had to be   
at least twenty stories tall and every parking space was filled. It held   
everything from normal street cars to a variety of strange red vehicles. The  
overwhelmed Chief stripped off the mask and cap. Carmen must be very   
successful to have so many people working for her. Where did he fit into it   
all?  
  
"Hey You!" a voice shouted.  
  
The Chief whirled around and saw a youngish man yelling at him from   
a nearby opened door.  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"I...I was just looking for someone..."  
  
"Well you've found someone and that someone wants to know what   
you're doing here!"  
  
"I...I...I was looking for my ride."  
  
"Well there hasn't been anyone in here for an hour, so you're either   
an hour off or you're early."  
  
"If they aren't here then I guess I've missed them. I'll be going,"   
the Chief told him hastily. He began to back out of the door.  
  
"Hey wait a minute....I don't remember you...and I never forget a   
face....who are you?"  
  
"I'm kinda new..."  
  
"I figured that, I meant what's your name?"  
  
"Um...Rodger."  
  
"When did you start?"  
  
"Yesterday," The Chief said. It sounded more like a question that an   
answer."  
  
"Uh huh. So Rodger, what brings you into VILE's employee roster?"  
  
'Vile? She calls her company VILE?' thought the Chief. "It just   
seemed like the next step in my life....." he trailed off uncomfortably.  
  
The young guy nodded. "Yeah, It's was kinda like that for everyone.   
So who were you looking for?"  
  
"Well someone...in the company....was able to get me into this...and   
when I was supposed to get out today...she left unexpectedly...I waited for   
her but I have some stuff I need to figure out soon.....so I went searching   
for her....and I ended up here. She's probably already left."  
  
"And this ride of yours ...do you need to talk to her real soon?"  
  
"No, ....she was just going to show me around the city...nothing   
really important."  
  
"Yeah, Paris is pretty nice for sightseeing this time of the year.   
It's a bit of a drive from here, but it's pretty nice."  
  
'So, I'm near Paris..' the Chief considered. "Does the company   
offer any kind of a taxi service....I want to get out of here soon."  
  
The young guy thought about it. "Well... my shift is almost over so   
if you really need a ride that badly I could drive you."  
  
"That would be great! If it's not too much trouble..."  
  
"Forgetaboutit. Just let me lock up."  
  
  
The Detectives weren't going away until they talked to the Chief.  
  
Carmen had argued with them for nearly three hours and they still   
wouldn't log off and wait for her to call them back. VILE's lines had been   
tied up for almost three hours creating God knows what havoc and all they   
had been doing was asking her how they could trust her!  
  
"Look just let me show him to you. Then will you let him sleep it   
off?" Carmen asked. The Chief had to be awake by now, and maybe even   
remember who he was but she had to risk it.  
  
"All right. But we have to talk to him," insisted Ivy.  
  
"Of course. I'll put you on hold for just a second, while I transfer   
you downstairs," she told them as she typed in the command. She got up from   
the chair she had spent the past three hours in and made her way downstairs.   
She went past the garage and stopped. She really needed to talk to Charlie   
about the damage to her hovercraft before her next heist or things could   
uglier than her last one. And she had a little time right?  
  
She reached for the doorknob.  
  
No.  
  
If she didn't get this cleared up now it would get worse. She had to   
show the detectives the Chief, she could always talk to Charlie later. She   
walked on for a few feet when suddenly the door opened a few inches then   
shut quickly behind her. She looked back confused.   
  
"It was probably just the wind," she told herself as she kept   
walking.  
  
  
  
"You don't have to go out that door, the car's in the back," the   
young man told the Chief who had already opened the door a cautious few   
inches.   
  
The Chief closed it quickly. He didn't want to go advertising that   
he was out. This place was starting to unnerve him and he had a sneaking  
suspicion that he shouldn't let Carmen catch him. 'Intuition is a strange   
thing, It knows even when you don't' he thought. 'But why does it know this   
is the right thing? She seemed very nice, and she knew who I was, she might   
not have the nicest sounding company but I'm sure whatever she does for a   
living is legal.' He tried to convince himself. His intuition started   
going the other way.   
  
'But what would she do that wasn't legal? She doesn't seem like   
the outlaw type...'  
  
"Hey Rodger! Ready to go?" shouted the young man.  
  
The Chief snapped out of his own thoughts. "Yeah! Hold on I'm   
coming!"  
  
  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
  
  
Paris had to be the most beautiful thing the Chief had ever seen in   
his life.  
  
It was so Metropolitan.  
  
it was so Ancient.  
  
It was so ...BIG.  
  
He was loving every second, and he wanted to absorb it all in but   
the young guy kept trying to make conversation with him, and the Chief felt   
compelled to keep up.  
  
"So anyway my name's Charlie, and I started working for Carmen   
about... oh... A year and a half ago. I'm not really a professional thief   
just a normal guy who took a wrong turn. Had everything going for me,   
thought I was invincible, and then suddenly fate messed it all up when my  
wife divorced me. Margaret was the best thing I had going for me and to lose   
her...well I sort of wasn't thinking when I started robbing banks. I lost my   
mechanics job and the house but I didn't care y'know? Somehow I thought by   
stealing I could get back the love of the woman I lost. At least that's what   
my therapist says."  
  
"Uh huh," said the Chief barely listening.  
  
"But enough me, I'm probably depressing the heck out of you. Why   
don't you tell me a little about yourself?"  
  
"Well there's not really much to tell. I was born, I grew up and I   
joined the ranks of VILE yesterday. Life so far has been pretty boring for   
me. I'm hoping this job will spice it up..to say the least."  
  
"That it will do! I'm telling you the number of times I've had to   
ask our Madam Chairperson how a 5 inch deep gouge mark could be ripped in   
solid titanium....but she is a pretty lenient boss....nobody dies or gets   
beaten up if they've done something wrong, and full dental and health care   
for you and your loved ones for life! With no exceptions! I'm telling you   
most legal companies don't give that sweet a deal! I was lucky to find a   
friend in here to pull a few strings..." Charlie turned and looked at the   
Chief questionably, "What about your friend? The one who got you into all   
of this?"  
  
"Her? Oh well, I've known and cared for her from since.....well...  
since before I can remember."  
  
"You two serious?"  
  
"What? No! I mean.. we've got a strong platonic friendship."  
  
"Uh huh," Charlie said with a knowing look.  
  
The Chief was outraged. "Hey!"  
  
"I didn't say anything..."  
  
"You gave me a 'I-know-what-you're-really-thinking' look! Listen,   
she and I are close but it would be impossible for me to like her like   
that!"  
  
"What, isn't she pretty?"  
  
"She's beautiful but..."  
  
"She married or seeing someone?"  
  
"No..."  
  
"She your sister?"  
  
"I'm pretty sure she isn't!"  
  
"Then why can't there be the possibility?"  
  
"Because, it's impossible!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
'Why is right!' The Chief thought 'Why am I trying to explain   
anything to this guy? I don't even know myself! Now I know what it was like   
when Carmen and I were arguing last night!'  
  
The Chief froze.  
  
Last night?  
  
Images. Feelings.  
  
A brilliant little girl from the orphanage named Carmen. Carmen   
working for him. Carmen, Detective of the Year. Carmen and Suhara. Christmas   
in Sweden, Austria. Happiness. Carmen arguing for his life. Carmen saving   
him. Carmen restless, inconsolable.  
  
Carmen gone.  
  
He had been sad, angry. He had hated her! She showed up one day,   
trying to comfort him. She had talked to him inside of his own head. She   
told him that they couldn't be allies, but they could still be friends. He   
agreed but only if she would be careful. He didn't want to loose her. She   
was entering a dangerous business. She agreed.  
  
Ten years.  
  
She was gone again.  
  
It looked as though she was gone forever in a falling snow in a far   
away place. He cried. Nothing else. Just cried. She had promised! And now   
she was cold. So cold. He couldn't bear it. His thoughts grew random, morbid.  
He would never see her again. .....unless...no they wouldn't make him see   
the body...there was too much he could do. She had been crushed, hadn't she?  
  
An added shame. She had had great cheekbones. Zack had been right.  
  
Zack and Ivy.  
  
Brother and Sister.  
  
His Best friends.  
  
Zack and Ivy couldn't do anything to cheer him up. He let the pain   
wash over him. Let it reach its most horrible point. Let it die. He stared   
through his pain into the real world and saw his friends in trouble.  
  
He returned renewed.  
  
She came back!  
  
He was stunned. He was angry! How could she have done this? A test?   
Of course he still cared about her! She laughed. In time so did he.  
  
But he also became more careful. More sensitive to danger.  
  
Yesterday.  
  
So close to being so cold.  
  
Not a test.  
  
She brushed it off.  
  
He didn't.  
  
She accidentally angered him. It was a slip of the tongue. It was   
something she didn't mean. He knew. He acted insulted. He had wanted to see   
how she would act. She was apologetic. She was scared of loosing him. She   
now knew some of what he had felt.   
  
Good.  
  
Pain!  
  
Darkness....  
  
Flying Chocolate Glazed Doughnuts?  
  
It was all so clear to him now! He was the Chief of ACME. Carmen was   
the head of VILE. They had been trying to capture her. She was human and he   
was a talking head.  
  
Wait a minute...  
  
HADN'T SHE HAD RUBBED HIS WRIST??????  
  
The Chief snapped out of it and looked down at his hands. He was   
human. But how? It was impossible! Wait a minute. He had heard Psycho Sara's   
voice when he was lying on the operating table, in-between the bouts of   
pain. Could Carmen have done this to him? No, she had been sincerely   
worried and angry at Sara and had tried to get him out of there as fast as   
she could. (Even if it did hurt.) Well to whatever or whoever he had to give   
credit he was here.   
  
And out on his own. What was he going to do?  
  
"Rodger? Rodger? Are you all right?"  
  
Charlie? The Chief looked up. Charlie had pulled over and was shaking  
him. Several concerned bystanders were milling around discussing what to do.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"That's what I want to know, were you having some kind of seizure?"  
  
"I...I don't know," The Chief told him as he began looking for some   
escape route. He knew now that he needed to get away. Fast. "I'm cold, but   
I'm not dizzy or tired. Maybe if I walk around..." he offered.  
  
"Good idea. Here, take my coat. If you get dizzy sit back down. I'm   
going to call the company doctor." He was already punching in the number on   
his cell phone.  
  
The Chief got up and started walking. He didn't stop.  
  
  
  
There have been very few times when Carmen Sandiego has lost it   
completely. The few times it has happened in the past it was due to a   
mixture of excessive pain stress and emotional torture. Like most   
career-powered criminals Ms. Sandiego has a natural knack for retaining a   
queenly cool during any situation no matter how intense. But, as noted  
earlier, there have been a few times in her life when she has lost all   
control and has dissolved into a blubbering nervous wreck.   
  
This unfortunately was one of those times.  
  
Fortunately for her, Carmen had seen it coming and had retired to   
her room minutes before she had lost it. In her defense one would have to   
point out that it was unavoidable. Sara had taken the time she needed to   
create a very good robot. The identifying marks had been programmed only   
showed up when necessary (locks that required ID, eyescans, etc.) and so   
there had been no fingerprints, or identifiable shoe prints. The surveillance  
cameras had been shorted out because of the last blackout so there was no   
footage of him moving anywhere. The only person that had been in the hallway   
in the past 24 hours was reported as a VILE employee. Without knowing how   
the Chief had gotten out Carmen had her henchmen sweeping the hallways, the   
walls, the ventilation ducts. Nothing. And Zack and Ivy were still getting   
more upset by the minute.  
  
And along with everything else one has to realize the tremendous   
personal stress Carmen was under. She had been having one of the longest   
days in her entire life before all this had started happening. By this time   
it was about three in the morning and she desperately needed a couple hours   
of sleep to sort everything out. Plus the Chief had really been like a   
father to her. He had cared for her and been there for her through ACME and   
VILE alike. He had never turned away or asked her to consider what she was   
doing to her morals or had tried to force her to do anything. He had cared   
for her completely and unconditionally, and if one does not count Suhara (and   
a few others who had helped her for only a couple of years), he was probably   
the only one who had done so in her life. She also felt at least partly   
responsible for the Chief's condition by not at least asking Sara about the   
various mysterious projects she had going all the time.  
  
All this had built up over the past hour and had left her pitifully   
crying into a pillow wondering what she had missed. Her cat Carmine was   
getting very concerned (as cats go) and had been nuzzling Carmen with her   
head trying to comfort her. After a few minutes Carmen realized what was   
going on and she gently picked her cat up.   
  
"I'm all right now girl," she told her as she stroked her, "I'm just   
a little...confused. I just can't figure out where the Chief could have   
gone. No one saw him leave and there's no way we can salvage the surveillance  
videos.....and you have to hand it to Sara for creating a really untraceable   
robot huh?"  
  
Carmine tried to look sympathetic.  
  
Carmen wiped some of the makeup-lined tears off her face. "I just   
can't understand why there isn't any trace of him anywhere! Nothing   
disappears without a trace, especially here! He couldn't have walked out   
without someone bumping into him, noticing him...."  
  
She froze.  
  
She jumped off her bed, accidentally dropping Carmine in the process,  
replaced her hat and flew out the door.  
  
  
  
The rumbling in his stomach had grown louder in the past hour, and   
the Chief had become really concerned. He didn't know what it was, if it was   
serious and what he should do to make it stop. He had been wandering the   
streets since he had left Charlie calling the doctor. The streets had gotten   
dark and cold.   
  
The trenchcoat that Charlie had given him had covered up the   
incriminating VILE uniform he was wearing, but didn't do much to shelter him   
from the cold. What did normal humans do if this situation arose?  
  
The Chief sighed and put his hands in the coat's pockets. What was   
he going to do? Something hit his hand inside the coat pocket. Interested he   
pulled it out. It was Charlie's wallet! 'He must have forgotten to take it   
out when he gave me his coat,' thought the Chief. He looked inside.   
  
There were several credit cards and a large wad of bills, a   
membership card to an American micro-brewery club and a VILE ID card. There   
was a picture of him and a young lady dressed as a bride. His wedding photo.   
It had been battered and torn at one edge, and on the back was written in   
fading pencil:   
  
1990  
  
  
Forever my love.  
  
Your Margaret.  
  
  
  
'Poor guy,' briefly thought the Chief. He searched through the rest   
of the wallet but found mostly dust. He looked at the wad of bills. 'Well,   
Charlie won't mind if I got a place to stay for the night right?'   
  
His stomach growled in agreement.  
  
He had almost forgot about his stomach. Maybe if he ate   
something....  
  
He turned and started off for the McDonalds he had seen a while   
back.  
  
  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++  
  
  
  
"So you had never seen him before?" Carmen asked intently.   
  
"No but he said he was a recruit so I didn't pay much attention. He   
seemed to want to leave pretty badly so I told him how to get to garage.   
He took off pretty fast."  
  
"Was there anything unusual about him?"  
  
"Not really. The fact that I hadn't seen him before is the only reason   
I remember him. Can I go? My wife is going to eat me alive!"  
  
Carmen ignored him. "Did he have a really nasal voice?"  
  
"Yeah.......yeah he did!"   
  
"Thank you. If you remember anything else call, please."  
  
"Sure, sure," the guard promised quickly as he made for the door.   
  
The Chief had been spotted around ten. Could he still be in the   
building? Maybe he tried to talk Charlie into giving him a ride. With   
the way Charlie talked he could definitely still be in the building.   
Carmen raced down to the garage with strength she didn't have, and   
prayed it wasn't too late.   
  
  
  
On a park bench the Chief looked up into the sky while he munched on a   
hamburger with the works. Life was good. He had had the good misfortune   
of getting to the Mickey D's just before it closed and, after listening   
to the gal at the counter rant on about American culture ruining French   
culture, bought the largest Value Meal he thought he could afford. (Try   
converting dollars to Francs as fast as you can in front of an attendant   
who doesn't want anything to do with Americans and see how far you're   
off.) He would probably have to wait till morning for a bed and   
breakfast to be open. He had always wanted to try one of those things.   
And now he could! He could do everything he had wanted to do everything   
Zack and Ivy and everyone else had teased him about!   
  
Zack and Ivy?   
  
Shoot!   
  
What would they do without him? He wanted to enjoy his humanity for as   
long as he could. But shouldn't he call and tell them he was OK?   
  
Hey! He was the most overworked employee on the entire force! He worked   
an 18 hour day everyday of the year. Shouldn't he get a sick day too?   
  
"Yeah! The Aux systems can take care of the basic stuff!" He shouted   
into the night. "I should have a break! I'm worth it!" he finished   
wondering if he sounded too much like a hair coloring commercial.   
  
He marched off to find a pay phone.   
  
  
"All right. We know his general area and where he was last seen thanks   
to Charlie," Carmen told herself. "And he has enough know how to stay out   
of danger for a few hours. We'll just have to wait until he pops up."  
  
"Boss?" offered a voice behind her.   
  
Carmen turned. It was Em Ploie.   
  
"Yes?"  
  
"May I make a suggestion?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"We've got a surveillance team looking for him round the clock and you   
look like you've been to the ends of the Earth and back. Go get some   
rest, and we'll call you when we get some trace on him."  
  
Carmen smiled. "Thank you, but I'm going to wait until I get word. I   
just need a pot of coffee and a lot of bright lights."  
  
"Sorry to break it to you but the coffee ran out at midnight," she told   
her boss pointing in the direction of the coffee machine. "We've got   
some warm cream and a couple open packets of sugar if you want it...."  
  
"No thanks. I'll just splash some cold water on my face and..."  
  
Suddenly the lights went out.   
  
"Great! What happened now?" yelled Carmen. A flashlight appeared at   
the end of the hall and shone right in Carmen's eyes.   
  
"Sorry boss! We were trying to retrieve the memory off of the erased   
video cameras when we did... something... we'll have it up and running in   
a few minutes though!"  
  
"What? Listen, we know were he is and what he looks like! We don't need   
the old memory on Surveillance! Could you turn off that thing?"  
  
"Really? Boy do I feel stupid! We'll get the lights on as soon as we   
can!" said the flashlight as he disappeared around the corner.   
  
The dark hall was silent for a few minutes before Em Ploie spoke up.   
"So, do you want me to try to find an all-night mini-mart?"  
  
"No, I'm going to try to get to bed before my head hits the floor or   
something else happens to me. And I'm going to pray they have the   
electricity back on line when I wake up."  
  
  
There are a lot of things that are different between reading about   
Paris and experiencing Paris. For instance you can read about the fact   
that you can only make a call from a Paris pay phone if you have a   
special, limited use, prepaid phone card and be interested. If you are   
experiencing it panic tends to quickly set in. Fortunately the Chief had   
found an old discarded one that had two minutes left on it. He did as   
the instructions on the booth said and typed in ACME's number hoping to   
get through.   
  
"ACME detective agency, where Knowledge is Power. My name is Kelly. How   
can I help you?" droned ACME's receptionist.   
  
"Yes, I was wondering if I could speak to the local detectives Ivy and   
Zack?"  
  
"May I ask who is calling?"  
  
"Rodger. Tell them I have info for them on the Chief that they might   
find interesting."  
  
"One moment please." She told him and put him on hold.   
  
The Chief hummed along with the background music. "Is that 'Rumor in   
St. Petersburg'?" he wondered out loud.   
  
He didn't have enough time to find out. Ivy came on the line and   
crisply asked him what he wanted.   
  
"Ivy it's me! The Chief! Don't you recognize my voice by now?"  
  
"What? ..... Chief? ......No...It....But...."  
  
"Listen, I'm fine! I was able to get out of Carmen's Manor and I made   
it to a major city. I'm just calling in sick."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I'm just not feeling like myself right now, and I'm taking the day of   
to sort things out. I'm sure you can manage with the Aux systems,   
right?"  
  
"Yes....but...."  
  
"I know this really isn't the nicest thing in the world to be doing to   
you guys, but this is a once in a lifetime thing and, frankly, I want to   
enjoy it! I'll call you back in twenty four hours." He began to hang up   
the phone.   
  
Ivy stared screaming something about a bomb, but he didn't want to   
listen. They weren't going to make him feel guilty about it. He knew   
anyone would make the decision he did. And he was going to call them   
back in a day. He would!... Now to find that bed and   
breakfast...  
  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
  
In the Master bedroom of the Sandiego manor a phone was ringing off the   
hook.   
  
And Carmen knew she had to answer it.   
  
Not that she wanted to though. It felt like she had just fallen asleep.   
She knew she had slept in her clothes and if she didn't take them off   
soon her feet would probably be damaged for life from her stiletto   
heels. But she didn't want to move. She didn't want to lead. She didn't   
want to answer obvious questions. She just wanted to go back to sleep   
for a few more days.   
  
Which unfortunately she couldn't do.   
  
Slowly and painfully she reached out an arm and picked up the receiver   
from its cradle. "Hello?"  
  
"Afternoon, Boss! Did you see we got the phones working?"  
  
"Mmm...yes...good job...." she muttered as she sat up in bed. She   
looked at the clock. Four in the afternoon? She had never slept in this   
late!   
  
"Well, we were able to determine what we did with the surveillance   
cameras and we've been monitoring calls to ACME ever since. And just a   
few minutes ago we received a very interesting phone call from the chief   
to our favorite detectives. We traced it to a pay phone in Paris and   
we$ve got some guys in plainclothes scooping things out. Since you told   
us to call you the minute we got news....." he trailed off.   
  
"Bring a car around front and I'll be down in a few minutes."  
  
  
Ivy hung up the phone slowly.   
  
What had just happened?   
  
Was the Chief really calling in sick? Was Carmen trying to play a trick   
on them? What should she believe?   
  
"Who was it sis?" Zack asked her nervously.  
  
"Huh?....oh....um..apparently it was the Chief calling in sick."  
  
"What?"   
  
"My thoughts exactly," Ivy commented as she walked over to the keypad.   
  
"But...he.....yesterday Carmen said...."  
  
"Carmen also said that she$d let us talk to him in a minute," Ivy   
reminded him as her fingers flew over the keys typing in codes.   
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Tracing the 'Chief's' call. He told me that he had gotten out of   
Carmen's hideout, and if that$s true he's in more danger than if he   
stayed! Whatever is true, he's out of Carmen's grasp and we'd better get   
him while the getting's good." A map popped up on the screen.  
  
Zack looked at it questionably. "A pay phone in Paris?"  
  
"It's our only lead. Player C-5 us to these coordinates!"  
  
  
Carmen picked up the phone card that the Chief had used and looked it   
over closely. Nothing jumped out at her as a clue to where the Chief   
could have gone next, but it was interesting that the Chief could have   
enough know-how to pull something like this off. She would have never   
guessed that he would understand how to navigate through life so   
quickly.....   
  
"Carmen?" asked a doubtful voice behind her, "Is that you?"  
  
Carmen turned to see Charlie with a questioning look on his face. "Yes,   
it's me. Why did you think otherwise?"  
  
"Well I've never seen you in street clothes before. I wasn't sure it   
was you."  
  
Carmen looked down at the dress she was wearing. It had been a while   
since she had dressed in normal causal clothes. So she had chose an old   
green dress she had gotten a year or two back and hoped was still   
fashionable enough not to draw attention.   
  
"Well, it's me even if I am wearing something different."  
  
"Listen...I just wanted to tell you....I'm sorry for letting the Chief   
get away......he really did look like the average Tom, Dick and Harry   
down at Vile, and I had no idea-"  
  
"It's all right, really. No one had any idea about what was happening   
until nothing could be done. I didn't inform anyone about what was going   
on so if anyone is to blame it's probably me. Now could you tell me in   
your own words what happened the last time you saw the Chief?"  
  
"Well, we were just talking about who we were and where we came from,   
small talk really, and the subject came up about a gal-friend that he   
had told me had gotten him interested in VILE. I joked around with him   
and said that they were probably closer than he was telling me and he   
got really mad at me for that. And then....he looked like he was having   
some sort of seizure or a stroke...and he kept whispering the words 'So   
cold' and 'So far away.' When he snapped out of it he seemed fine but he   
wanted to walk around, so I gave him my coat and I called the doctor.   
After God knows how many times I spent on hold I finally got through   
but by that time he had disappeared. I described what had happened and   
they put me on hold for what must have been a good hour and then I was   
simply told to come back to the manor. When I got back I retold what I   
just told you twenty times before I was told to spend the night in one   
of the spare bedrooms and tell it to you when you woke up."  
  
"So he was still wearing the VILE uniform when you let him walk   
around?"  
  
"Yeah but I gave him the coat so he could cover it up."  
  
"Well coat or no coat he's going to be pretty easy to find even in   
Paris!"  
  
  
"What was that last thing?" Ivy whispered to her brother.  
  
"She told that guy 'Coat or no coat he's going to be pretty easy to   
find, even in Paris," Zack whispered back.   
  
"Right. We got all the info we're gonna need. Let's get out of this   
alley before they catch us," Ivy said as she started to back away. Pure   
luck was the only reason the C-5 had been dropped in an alleyway just a   
few feet from the phone booth....and just out of the field of view of   
Carmen's henchmen.   
  
They crept out of the alley and, as quietly as they could, activated   
the C-5 car. Ivy took the wheel and they sped out of the back street   
and away from the henchmen.   
  
"Start looking for him Zack, he could be anywhere!"  
  
"Somehow, I don't think he$ll be all that difficult to hide. Would you   
watch where you're driving? You almost hit that guy!"  
  
"I did not! ....And besides he has some camouflage."  
  
"Ivy a trench coat isn't going to cover him, especially in daylight. I   
mean how well can he hide a VILE uniform?"  
  
  
  
  
"The two suits, the tie, the coat, the three pairs of socks and the   
shoes come to....25,000 francs," explained the clerk, "Will that be   
cash or credit?"  
  
"Definitely credit." The Chief told her as he pulled out Charlie's   
American Express card. With a twinge of regret he expertly forged the   
signature, and picked his two shopping bags.   
  
"Are you sure you want to wear your purchases monsieur? Wouldn't you   
be more comfortable in the clothes you came in with?"  
  
"Quite sure," he told her with a glowing smile.  
  
"Very well, have a pleasant afternoon Monsieur and thank you for   
shopping at The Bon Marche."  
  
The Chief walked out of the most famous and quite possibly the very   
first shopping mall ever, double checked which bag was which and neatly   
dropped the bag with his VILE uniform into the first waste basket he   
came to.   
  
"Well there goes my birthday suit," he joked to himself. But strangely   
he felt free for the first time in his life.   
  
He stopped to admire himself in a store window. His purchases had   
definitely been what the French call a Bon Marche or a good buy. The   
black suit he was wearing was both elegant and casual and because of the   
fashionable cut of the shirt collar, didn't require a tie. The matching   
black slacks hung on him as if they were tailored to his measurements.   
The shoes completed the outfit. And although they were without a doubt   
the cheapest thing he had gotten they looked like they had cost him a   
fortune. Especially when combined with everything else he had on.   
  
"Boy I DO look pretty good! And it wasn't all that expensive!...well   
compared to prices in Paris....." he trailed off.   
  
So now what?   
  
He had the whole day ahead of him. He was in Paris! They didn$t call it   
the City of Light for nothing!   
  
So why was he out of Ideas?   
  
Where was the list he made?.....in the pocket of his VILE uniform!   
  
Exasperated he stopped in his tracks and turned to go back...when   
someone ran into his shoulder.   
  
"Hey, watch it!" he yelled at the kid that was running away. He   
massaged his shoulder. He wasn't sure he would ever get used to this   
'pain' thing.   
  
"Stop thief!" a woman screeched. "That boy! He stole my purse!"  
  
The Chief did his first double-take and he realized what was going on.   
Without thinking he began to chase after the young boy. "Hey Kid! Stop!   
You don't know what you're doing!"  
  
He followed the kid through alleys over park benches and finally caught   
him in a turn on a park trail. He tried a martial arts hold that Ivy had   
once showed him and he was surprised when the kid shrieked in pain.   
  
"TAKE THE PURSE!" he shrieked, "TAKE WHATEVER YOU WANT JUST LET ME   
GOOOOOOOO!" he trailed off in tears.   
  
"Don't worry kid everything is going to be okay. We're going to go   
find a police officer now and we'll sort everything out. C'mon."  
  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
  
"Are you sure you don't want another croque-monsieur Mr. Rodger?"  
Not really. He had been stuffing his face with the high caloric   
gratitude of the little old lady all afternoon. He was feeling very happy and  
full, but he felt sorry to take advantage of the generosity of such a sweet   
grandmotherly lady. But how could exit politely?  
"No thank you Ma'am you've been so much more than generous! And I  
really must be going..."  
"Ah, who is the young lady who is stealing you away from me?  
'Why does everyone assume I'm dating someone?' the Chief thought   
'Am I really all that good looking?' "I'm not going to meet anyone, I   
just....wanted to see the Ocean before the Sun went down. I don't have a   
car and the hotel I'm staying at closes their doors at nine. I would love   
to stay but if I want to call a cab up I'll have to do it soon.."  
"Ah monsieur, if you have seen the ocean once you have seen it   
always."  
"But you see, I have never been to the ocean side. I've seen it from   
planes and I have seen pictures of it but I have never really experienced it."  
"You poor thing! I will gladly drive you! Just let me pay this bill."  
Madam, you have been more than generous. If you will start your car   
I will pay...."  
  
  
  
"Face it Ive the trail has gone cold and you can't believe that your  
finely tuned skills let you down!"  
"Zack just finish your crepe and forget about it."  
"I can't help it Ivy! I keep thinking there's something that we don't  
know that Carmen does! It's really unsettling."  
"Tell me about it! At least she must have some sort of tracking device  
or an implant that tells her where he is or something...we've been scanning   
the streets for hours and we've seen absolutely nothing! I mean other that   
an act of God we're not going to find him! Maybe we should just go back to  
ACME..."  
Suddenly a tiny green Citron and a very red sports car ripped through   
the intersection in front of them and disappeared over a rise in the road. As   
they blazed passed them Zack could make out the sports car's license plate.  
"Did you see that?" asked Ivy "What was that?"  
"That was an act of Carmen! And if she's in that big of a hurry   
something's got to be up! Let's go sis!"  
  
  
Carmen sped down the streets of Paris thanking the Deity for   
Customer Service lines for credit cards. The helpful service persons told her  
where and when the chief had used Charlie's credit cards , and had even called  
her back when the chief had paid the bill at that cafe. Carmen took the twists  
and turns in the roads of the old town viciously and she still was having   
trouble keeping up with the little old lady.  
"I wonder if she's originally from Pasadena?" thought Carmen along   
with some impolite thoughts about European speed limits.  
  
  
The Chief was thinking more or less the same thing. He was clinging   
on to the car like his life depended on it and felt his new made heart jerk  
with every hairpin turn.  
"Do you have a last name Monsieur?"  
"Not a very pronounceable one. I prefer to be called Rodger..."   
he braced as the little old lady cut the corner sharply,   
"If that's not impolite."  
"Then you must call me Marguerite....Foolish police cars! GET OUT  
OF THE WAY!!!" she forcefully beeped her horn.  
The Chief began to turn white.  
  
  
"I think you're right Zack! She's following that little Citron. Wow!  
Did you see how close the Citron driver cut that corner?"  
"Yeah, I saw it, I just don't want to repeat it! Man, even Carmen's  
having trouble catching up! ....Ivy there are two people in the car."  
"So?"  
"One of them has a very familiar hairstyle." Zack took out his pair   
of lucky binoculars and tried to focus on the second head throughout all   
the twists and turns. Suddenly it looked back and Zack shouted,   
"That's it! That's him!"  
"Then I'm not letting him get away again!" Ivy shouted as she floored  
the gas petal.  
  
  
  
"Marguerite...I...well... why are we going so fast?"  
"Have you ever seen the film 'Blue Brothers'?"  
"That's 'Blues Brothers', and yes a couple of times."  
"Did you enjoy the chase scene near the end?"  
"I could take it or leave it. Why?"  
"Because you are in it! Look behind you...."  
The Chief did so and saw Carmen Zack and Ivy following behind them.   
His mouth involuntarily dropped.  
"Oh dear..."  
"I see you are very popular Ma Cherie."  
"Please, could you loose them? I'll explain it to you all later."  
"Are you a Fugitive? A hunted Criminal? Have you Murdered, stolen   
or done anything else horribly bad?"  
"I swear to you on all I hold Holy I haven't."  
Marguerite stopped and parked the car in the middle of the Champs-Elises.  
"What are you doing? Please, go!"  
"Monsieur are you out of your mind? I'm driving a Citron! I can't   
outrun a bunny let alone a Ferrari! I've only been lucky so far because I   
know how to navigate the Paris streets."  
Carmen's car rounded the corner.  
"The only way we can get away..."  
Carmen saw the parked car and braked hard.  
"Is if we cause..."  
Carmen luckily stopped short, but the C-5 car was just starting to   
come around the bend.....  
Marguerite started her car and briskly drove away from the accident  
that was just about to happen...  
"A little commotion!"  
There was the crunch of metal, and the Chief involuntarily shut his eyes.  
  
  
Carmen jumped out of her car just in time to see the Chief cruise out   
of the Paris city limits. She felt a wave of despair was over her. Didn't the  
Chief know not to get in a car with strangers? Now how was she going to find him?  
"Carmen!"  
Great. If life wasn't complicated enough. The detectives had caught up.  
Ivy walked over, obviously ticked, and kicked her car.  
"Hey!" Carmen yelled. "Are you going to pay for that?"  
"Only if you're going to pay for that!" she yelled back indicating the  
quarter inch gouge in the passenger side door of the C-5 car. "Do you realize   
you could have gotten us all killed?"  
"Of course I know!" Carmen told her, uncharicteristly almost screaming  
"You can't just stop in the middle of a busy street without having some serious  
repercussions come up!"  
"Well what on Earth possessed you to stop in the middle of a   
busy intersection?!?!?"  
"Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that the car with the Chief in it   
did the same thing?" she commented sarcastically "Do you want to see the Chief  
again in one piece or as a set of twelve??"  
"Since when do you care about the Chief's safety?" shot back Ivy.  
  
Carmen was stunned. That had really really hurt. She had been frantic  
ever since she had found out about what was happening. What's more, Ivy knew  
she cared deeply about the Chief and to use her deepest feelings just to win  
a trivial argument..... She felt her fists involuntary clench with pain.  
"Ivy I'm not, by nature, a violent woman." Carmen said quietly "Especially  
when I deal with ACME detectives. But unless you don't take back that low and  
entirely unworthy remark immediately I promise to make you very happy you have  
Martial Arts training."  
  
"Woah! Carmen, Ivy, just...take it easy..." interrupted Zack, who was  
already picturing his sister and Carmen Sandiego exchanging blows on a   
very public street.  
  
"No, Zack, It's O.K." Ivy interrupted. She turned to Carmen. "I'm sorry.   
I was wrong. I shouldn't have ever said that. It's just been a really long week..."  
  
"...And you weren't thinking." Carmen finished. Zack and Ivy nodded.  
"I think it's been like that for everyone. But we'd better conserve our energy  
for looking for the Chief instead of picking petty fights."  
  
"Don't you have some sort of tracking device or a homing signal attached  
to the Chief, Carmen?' asked Ivy.  
  
"I wish I did! It would make this much easier! I really have no idea  
where he's going or what he could be doing."  
  
"Um, ladies? If I could break up this International Coffee moment?  
I did have the good fortune of getting the license plate number, but it's not  
going to help us much, unless they get caught speeding or something."  
  
"Somehow I don't think that'll be a problem." commented Ivy.   
"But we'll have to put in a call to the French police to have them keep   
an eye out for them."  
_______________________  
  
The Chief looked at the ocean and was completely speechless.  
  
To experience something this big....  
  
He took off his socks and shoes in the car and walked to the shore.  
He waded in to his ankles and bent over and dipped his hands into the water.  
He watched as drops formed at his fingertips before they dived into the place  
from whence the had come.   
  
Hundreds upon thousands of drops like this.   
  
Thousands upon millions.   
  
Millions upon billions.   
  
Billions upon trillions.  
  
Eternity seemed very possible.  
  
The Chief looked at his feet. They looked much lighter in color.   
His pants legs were getting soaked with sea water. He walked out of the  
water solemnly.  
  
"What is wrong?" asked Marguerite  
  
"I don't think I should try to enjoy the experience anymore."   
he told her showing her his soaked cuffs. "I only have one other suit in   
the way of clothes, and I don't have a bathing suit."  
  
"Well, you still have that one other suit don't you? You Americans   
are always trying to be overly practical, always trying to make excuses, you  
should try to life a little more. You only live it once."  
  
'You only live life once' though the Chief. Then he stopped.  
  
"How did you know I'm American?"  
  
"You have the mannerisms and the eyes of an American. It's not   
very hard to see."  
  
"Oh." the Chief said simply as he took off his jacket and gently   
laid it on the car roof.  
  
"So you are going to just look at the sea?"  
  
"Well Madam, as I see it there are two ways of enjoying anything.   
The way you will most enjoy it and the way you should enjoy it."  
  
And without a moment's more hesitation he ran straight into the ocean.  
  
  
  
Carmen was fuming as she leaned up against the C-5 car and watched as   
her car was towed away by VILE's body shop. Zack and Ivy were on the C-5's   
car phone giving instructions to the French police and getting info on the   
Lady who had driven the Chief away.   
  
How had he hooked up with someone so fast?   
Why had he hooked up with someone so fast?  
  
Even when she had been a little girl she knew that talking to strangers  
was dangerous.The Chief may not have been human but he dealt with cases of   
robbery, murder and the like daily. Didn't he know anything from the hundreds  
of cases that had passed his screen?   
  
Carmen's heart suddenly jerked. The Chief knew, but had never   
experienced the dangers life posed. Oh sure, he had read about nearly   
every twisted longing known to man, but deep down inside she knew he could  
never think that anyone could be truly harsh cruel or sadistic.  
  
What if the lady who had taken him in was really a sicko? What if   
she had kidnapped him and was writing a ransom note at this very moment?   
  
What if....  
  
"Carmen? Yoo-hoo? Anybody home?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, Zack, I was just..er..thinking...did you find out anything  
about the driver?"  
  
"Yeah, her name's Marguerite Leroux. She lives in the Paris suburbs  
not too far from here. The Parisian police are pretty familiar with her;   
she's somewhat of a local character. Pretty harmless despite having a   
list of moving violations as long as my arm. They told us they'd call us   
back if they pick her up."  
  
"That coupled with the credit card people being on alert we shouldn't   
have long to wait before we get our next lead." Carmen deduced.  
  
"WE Carmen?" Zack asked with a smile.  
  
"Yes, WE Zack. I need all the help I can get, and if you two want   
to tag along, it's all right with me." She told him with a smirk.  
  
"Shouldn't it be the other way around Carmen?" Zack questioned.  
  
"Why Zack, whatever do you mean?" Carmen asked with her best   
Elegant-Innocent face.  
  
Zack smirked back. "You're defiantly not that innocent Carmen."  
  
"No one is that innocent Zack. Have you and Ivy eaten?"  
  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
  
"Thank you Madam for a lovely afternoon."  
  
"Please, it was truly nothing. The least I can do for you stopping   
that purse-snatcher. You are a delight to talk to! I wish I could meet more   
young men like you. Besides, I am going to see you tomorrow for breakfast   
aren't I?"  
  
"Tomorrow? Why?"  
  
"You still owe me that explanation." she reminded him  
  
"So I do. I shall see you tomorrow then." They said their final   
goodbye's and the Chief suddenly found himself looking into the horizon   
where Marguerite had driven away. He stood and looked for a little while   
longer until he realized that standing in the cool spring air in wet clothes   
wasn't the smartest thing in the world.  
  
He got the key from the front desk, changed out of his wet clothes   
and turned on the TV. As he watched a bad French version of 'Singled Out'   
images of the day floated through his head. He couldn't remember when he   
had been more relaxed. Maybe he would vacation for just one more day...  
  
The perky blond contestant had finally chosen her date. They were   
placed back to back while the host explained his likes and dislikes. Finally   
they turned to face each other. The girl and boy both smiled widely, they   
had made the right choice! The announcer explained in rapid-fire French   
where they were going.   
  
The Chief nodded once before falling completely asleep  
  
  
  
Zack was having a weirdly wonderful dream about ACME having the   
Christmas party in the Caribbean when he felt a woman's pump nail him in the back.  
  
"Ow! Hey, What the...." he yelped, jumping several feet into the air.  
It took him a few seconds to realize that he wasn't dreaming. When his head   
cleared everything began to sort out. ....O.K. he was sleeping in the C-5 Car   
with his sister and Carmen Sandiego. He was WHAT? He was fully awake   
now. Carmen was cuddled up in the back seat while he and his sis had pulled   
down the front seats. Everyone was smooshed. Yes, they had started searching   
for a hotel too late and they had been forced to sleep in the car.  
  
"No...."  
  
No? Was he contradicting himself?  
  
"No!… Stop, please... don't you... you're hurting him!"  
  
Wait a minute... That was Carmen! She was talking in her sleep, her hands   
clutched in tight fists.   
  
"NO! No more... what do you want? Please... please..."  
  
Zack hesitated. Didn't they say that if you woke a dreaming or sleepwalking person  
it could cause brain damage?  
  
Tears started running down her face, and Zack decided to take the risk.  
  
"Carmen?" he whispered "... Caaarmen? ... Wake up Carmen..."  
  
"What?! I... Oh. ...Thank goodness I thought I was..." She realized who had woken   
her up. "Zack? How long have you been listening?"  
  
"Ever since you kicked me in the back with a stiletto pump." He smirked, "Those   
things are the most lethal weapon you have!"  
  
"Er...Sorry about that."  
  
"No problem.... Um, could I … ask what..."  
  
"Nothing. Just...old memories."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"What are we talking about?" Ivy asked as she started to wake up.  
  
"Lethal shoes." Carmen broke in  
  
"Could we change the subject to something a little more interesting? Like breakfast?"  
  
  
*****  
"Huh?"   
The Chief, thinking someone had broken in tried to jump out of bed and landed up on the   
floor. It took him a few moments to realize that the voice was speaking in French.  
  
"It's me Antoine Mercone! And have we got a great show for you today!"   
  
'It's the TV!' he realized 'Well that can be fixed easily'. He crawled back into bed and   
fumbled around for the remote. He found it and stabbed the buttons blindly until the voice stopped.   
He collapsed back onto the bed and wondered if he should get up. Normally he was a morning   
person. But then again he hadn't had much choice in the matter. His connection to Acme's   
mainframe dictated when he got up and when he shut down. He smacked his lips, trying to get   
rid of morning breath, and snuggled back under the covers. Staying right where he was suddenly   
seemed extremely appealing. The warmth of the covers, the pattern of his own breathing...it   
vaguely reminded him of an explanation he had once heard of someone describing being held in   
a mothers arms....  
  
A loud shrill noise jolted him back awake. Instinctively he started stabbing the buttons on   
the remote before he realized it was the phone.  
  
"Mmm....hello?"  
  
"Monsieur Roger? It is me, Marguerite!"  
  
"Oh.... um.....how did you sleep?"  
  
"Very well. But it sounds like you are still asleep!"  
  
"You could be right....." the Chief started as he began to doze off.  
  
"Well, I'll be by in a couple minutes, make sure you are at least dressed. I have a surprise   
for you when we get to where we will eat breakfast."  
  
"A surprise?" He was awake now. He had always enjoyed surprises. Well except for   
that one little surprise Carmen had given him over a decade ago...'Keep your mind in the present....'   
he reminded himself. "What kind of surprise?"  
  
"You'll just have to wait....I'll see you soon."  
  
  
  
"So what's our plan of action?" Zack asked when he came back with a bag of various   
French pastries.  
  
"Well, for now we wait until we get another lead. Then we try to contact the Chief and tell   
him what's happening."  
  
"That's pretty general." Zack commented  
  
"Well at the moment we don't have any specific info on what's happening."  
  
"But the self destruct mechanism in the Chief is set to go off in less than 24 hours!" Ivy protested  
  
"I know, I know. I'm getting a little edgy too but right now there's nothing we can do except wait."  
  
"Well what happens if we do get the Chief in time?"  
  
"Sarah's got a portable version of the transfer mechanism working. So we'll C-5 to a speedboat   
in the English Channel, make the transfer, dump the 'bot and get out of there as fast as we can."  
  
"Cool. And if we don't?"  
  
"A piece of Paris the size of the Arch de Triumph gets blasted...and the blast mech gets traced back   
to me in two steps."  
  
"Er...." Ivy trailed off  
  
"What happens if the Chief gets blasted ON the Arch?" Zack asked  
  
"Zack! So, there's no possible way we could stop the timer?"  
  
"Sarah never intended to stop it. The thing we should aim for is getting the Chief out safely." Carmen   
explained, "Why do you ask?"  
  
"I don't know.... he's always wanted a taste of what it was like to be human.... I'd just like to be there..."  
  
  
  
"Hello monsieur! We meet again eh?"  
  
"Hello again Marguerite! You look well." the Chief commented. It was true. The little old lady   
was dressed to kill in a black dress suit (Didn't the French call it a -Talleur- ?) and red pumps that made the   
Chief think of a certain wild-haired lady who he had left in a lurch. He on the other hand was a disaster sight   
of his first attempts at a shower and shave. At least his socks were dry....  
  
"Thank you Monsieur, I'm happy you noticed."  
  
Fortunately the ride into town was nothing like the ride out last night. The Chief got to enjoy the scenery,   
and even ask Marguerite about occasional landmarks.  
  
"And that one?"  
  
"La place de la Opera." It's the plaza leading onto the old national opera. You know the ones you   
Americans think are home to a singing ghost.... See? Right there..."  
  
"Wow...It's huge.... what about that?"  
  
"That's the monument to the French revolution... One of them, anyway… Didn't you see all these   
last night?"  
  
"Well, we were going a little too fast for me to make out definite shapes..."  
  
"That's the truth! Well, we are here."  
  
It was a decent little eatery, tucked away from the high traffic streets. The matre d' recognized Marguerite   
and lead them to a table outside.  
  
"Lovely little place eh? I come here every Sunday."  
  
"Yes, it's very pretty. So what was this surprise you were telling me about?"  
  
"In due time. First, why were those people chasing us yesterday?"  
  
"I was hoping you wouldn't have to bring that up."  
  
"Well, I did. Now you have to tell me."  
  
"O.K. Well.... you see...I'm the Chief of a detective agency in San Francisco. And I haven't had a   
vacation in I-don't-know-how-many years, despite the fact that I really need one." He looked up. Marguerite   
was nodding "So I placed the necessary paper work and, before anyone could stop me, I jumped a plane over   
here. Unfortunately I only had time to pack my toothbrush. And even that got lost. So I had just come from buying   
some clothes when I bumped into your purse-snatcher. "  
  
"All right, but why were those people chasing you?"  
  
"They're a couple of my agents come to track me down because I failed to sign a something."   
  
A waiter brought them menus.  
  
"Look and see what you want to order, monsieur, no need to rush." she insisted as she started looking   
every which way but him.  
  
"What are you looking for? You didn't tell the police about me?"  
  
"Hmm? Oh no… nothing like that...."  
  
"Uh huh...well Marguerite, while we not waiting for the police, why don't you tell me about yourself?"  
  
"Oh what is there to tell? I was born in Rouen, joined the French resistance, married and had three   
beautiful daughters. And I met you yesterday. Not much."  
  
"The French resistance? You mean during World War II?"  
  
"Yes, of course!" She smiled as she looked up from the menu. "If I had been in the Great War, I   
would have been dead already! Ah, our waiter. What do you want?"  
  
  
"What do think the Chief is doing now?" Ivy asked nobody in general when they had been sitting   
in the C-5 car for over an hour.  
  
"Hmm?" Zack asked, cell phone glued to his head.  
  
"What do you mean Ivy?" Carmen asked  
  
"Just wondering. How he's spending the day, y'know, is he sleeping in, did he watch the sun   
rise..." Ivy said  
  
"Ah." Carmen answered back  
  
A pause  
  
"So what do you think?" Ivy continued  
  
"About the chief?" Carmen asked.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well if I know the Chief...he's either sleeping in or munching on fatty snack food watching bad   
French TV." Carmen said with a smile  
  
"Yeah, if Marguerite has a TV." Ivy said  
  
"...He might not be with Marguerite Ivy." Carmen said coolly.  
  
"Yes...but she might."  
  
Carmen shot her a pained look "Ivy, please."  
  
"Sorry..."  
  
"S'all right." Carmen murmured as she went back to her paperwork. But she wasn't all right. She   
started worrying about whom the Chief might be with all over again. 'Why is it, whenever I think I have a   
situation under control life throws me a curve ball?' she pondered  
  
  
"Mama?"  
  
"Marie! Ma petit Chou! How are you? Have you been well?"  
  
The Chief was shocked. A very lovely French lady was greeting Marguerite with the love of a   
family member lost since birth. Many 'Cheri!''s later she finally sat down and tried to wave down a   
French waiter.  
  
"Monsieur Rodger, My daughter Marie. Oh stop trying child! They never come when you   
need them. Say hello to my guest."  
  
"Oh! Good day to you sir!" Marie offered her hand to the chief, then kissed him deftly once   
on each cheek before returning to fuming about the waiters.  
  
"A very good surprise eh Monsieur?" Marguerites whispered to him as Marie finally   
flagged down a waiter.  
  
The Chief realized that he had just been set up on a blind date.  
  
  
  
"We got something!" Zack yelled as the dashboard of the C-5 car lit up.  
  
For a few minutes there was total chaos in the C-5 car punctured with "what?" and "Where?".   
Carmen ended it quickly by whistling with her tongue and two fingers.  
  
"Ow! Hey, where did that come from?"  
  
"It's something the Chief taught me a while back. What is it?"  
  
"He just used his credit card in a cafe on the other side of town."  
  
"Well what are we waiting for?" Ivy yelled, "Let's go!"  
  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
  
  
"Ah, that was a lovely brunch!" Marguerite commented.  
  
"Mama! You would consider raw sewage lovely as long as someone else   
pays for it!"  
  
"That's the truth! Now, Marie could you do me a favor?" Her daughter nodded.   
"My friend here has not seen all Paris has to offer, and sadly I have an appointment this   
morning. Could you take him to the usual places? The Louvre, the Arche, La tour Eiffel..."  
  
Marie rolled her eyes. "Mama it is too late to get through the   
Louvre, and the tour busses have already swarmed the Arche, the best I   
could show him would be La Notre-Dame and maybe the tower..."   
  
"Wonderful! I shall meet you at the tower at...is three soon   
enough?"  
  
"Mama..."  
  
"Good! I shall see you soon enough Monsieur Rodger. Good day to   
both of you." Marguerite made for the door faster than the Chief thought  
a lady her age could. Marie's face had a 'Hear-we-go-again' air to it.  
  
"Does your mother set you up like this often?"  
  
"More often than you might think." She mused. Then she realized  
the harsh edge to her words. "I am sorry. It's just that this is too   
familiar, I bear you no hard feelings. My mother... well...have you ever   
had someone you care deeply about annoy you with something that you wish   
they wouldn't do and effects you directly?"  
  
The Chief looked her straight in the eye and with all the sincerity  
in the world said: "Yes."  
  
  
  
"All right it's just around this corner...." Zack said, his eyes going   
from the map to the streets "If we just....hello!"  
  
"Is that?" Ivy trailed off  
  
"That's the Chief all right.." Carmen frowned "...but who's with him?"  
  
"Well either our mystery lady got twenty years younger overnight   
or he's hanging with another gal. Boy if I knew the Chief was this much   
of a babe magnet I would have...Ow!" Zack screeched as Ivy slapped the   
back of his head.  
  
"Can it Zack! What do you think Carmen? Should we follow him?"  
  
"Yeah.... but keep your distance... wait, they're going on foot?   
O.K. let's find a parking spot first."  
  
++++++++++++++++++++  
  
  
  
It was a nice day for a walk in Paris.   
  
The sun was shining, the smog was low around the tourist sites and  
he had only been almost-killed twice in the last hour. Life was good.  
  
And to top it off, Marie was warming up to him. She apologized   
for her earlier rudeness and told them about a few of the sites around   
the city that they could visit. She had wanted to go on a boat ride on   
the Seine, but the Chief turned her down. Two hours was pretty long,   
even for a boat ride and for some reason he felt like he was running   
out of time....  
  
"Well, what about you?" The Chief when they stopped to rest   
on a bench. "Tell me something about yourself. Your mother can't have  
been organizing your social life for too long.."  
  
"I'd prefer not to talk about it Monsieur."  
  
"Oh. O.K., that's fair."  
  
"It was about a year ago...."  
  
"All right..." something told the Chief that he was about to   
experience high levels of pain.  
  
"I came home early on our anniversary to prepare my husband a   
special candlelight dinner and I found him with my secretary!"  
  
"... Oh."  
  
"Yes! They had been together for two years! Two years! And what  
is worse...when I called my sister and told her that I had found out my   
husband had been had an affair...She started begging my forgiveness! I   
mean my own sister!!" Marie kept going on and on and the Chief kept on   
dutifully saying 'Oh?' to every pause. His thoughts kept going back to   
Charlie and his Ex. Did all human relationships end up this way? He had   
always heard that it had been better to have loved and lose than never   
love at all, but he had never imagined that there would be so much loss   
when it came to the actual loving.   
  
He could have guessed it, though, from watching Carmen. It seemed   
like she had been destined to be alone from the moment he met her. She had   
never been much for dating: She was pretty intimidating to begin with and she   
instinctively shunned intimacy. Those she had shown affection to either outright   
refused to return her affection or... Or they died.   
  
There had been a joke around the agency that since Carmen was so lucky   
in her work she would never be lucky in love. Some called the unfortunate string of   
chance happenings 'The Sandiego Curse' around the water cooler. The more   
superstitious agents began to seriously consider its existence as Carmen quit the   
agency...loosing everyone she knew all for a Life of Crime...  
  
He never asked her why she had left everything behind to become a criminal   
element. Maybe it was simply that he didn't want to know. Maybe he knew all ready   
and didn't want to say it out loud. He had long suspected it was one of the few who   
had died trying to love her. Carmen acted impenetrable most of the time but the Chief   
knew she was pretty delicate when it came to matters of the heart. Her parent's   
disappearance from her life had left a black mark on her heart at a very early age, a   
mark that could never be erased no matter how many indicators of safety lay around her.   
Safety and security actually seemed to frighten her at times. Those boys who had gotten   
close to her, who had learned to love her inevitably wanted to try to marry her, protect her.   
An offer she almost always refused. Her denial was something that never failed to anger   
whomever she was dating. Then the boy would lose track of the job at hand, a dangerous   
thing in Acme's older days, and then the accidents would start to happen....  
  
What was so potent about the human emotion love that made so many people forget   
reason and do anything to keep the object of desire close to their hearts? It was the cheapest   
thing in the world to obtain yet people spent millions of dollars to make their loves happy. It was   
an emotion that could be found on every street corner in the world yet some searched for years   
looking for it. Or worse they grabbed the closest thing they could get and swore that it was love   
as opposed to simple attachment. And after a few years and affairs later where were they?   
Complaining to whomever they could find about how rotten the other was! Marie was STILL   
going on about her Ex-Love's infidelity in intense detail. It made him wish he were still a droid.  
  
As Marie continued to explain her past betrayal the Chief saw a young couple walking in   
the distance. They were looking nowhere but each other's faces and they we talking in low tones.   
Happy and content; showing every sign of being deeply in love. Honestly and openly, comparable   
only to the movies and theater. Was this the true ideal? Was this what people hoped and dreamed   
for? Suddenly a young lady with a baby in tow came up and slapped the young man as hard as she   
could. A talk-show style fight erupted.  
  
O.K ... Maybe not.  
  
Sheesh, was there any kind of human love that wasn't tainted by lust greed or hatred?  
  
For some reason he started remembering the first Christmas night he had played Chess   
with Carmen. Cold and alone she had been the only one not celebrating the holidays beside him,   
even Suhara had gone to his family in Kyoto. He had hot-wired the coffee machine to give her a   
cup of cocoa without paying but demanded a chess game for payment. Laughing she agreed and   
proceeded to kick his butt in a cool ten minutes. He was shocked to be beaten by a kid, (she was   
only 14 at the time) but delighted that he had found a worthy opponent. He quickly demanded another   
game and they played until the break of day. She had always been his greatest adversary as well as   
his best friend. She still was.  
  
Oh yes, his holidays with Carmen were his favorite part of the year. They still were. It was   
strange, even after she had turned her back on society she still broke in every year to try and play   
a game with him. Last year had turned out to be a horrible mess. He didn't want to tell Zack or Ivy   
that all that trouble had happened because of faulty wiring and Acme's new security channels. Still,   
the massive complications that had ensued really weren't worth one or two games of chess. Especially   
with other CHIEF program she had running VILE's recruiting center minutes away. What had made   
her do it in the first place?  
  
Humans were strange when you got right down to it. Even having human emotions didn't   
make things any easier. Actually they made it worse. This whole thing had started when he had   
blown up at Carmen when she had…. She had almost…. Damn. He couldn't even think of it   
without tearing up. How could she take such stupid risks when she knew how he felt out her from   
the last time?  
  
How did he feel about Carmen? The question alone started turning gears that he didn't   
even know he had. He obviously cared for her. He had known THAT for years. But how could   
he define it?   
  
Parental concern had a part in it, although wasn't the bulk of it; there had been many   
times when he had given her advice that fathers normally gave.  
  
Sibling affection? Maybe. She treated him more like a younger brother than a partner   
when she was first partnered with him back in '85. When she wasn't stressed out about the various   
problems that her job presented she still kidded with him like she had all those years ago.  
  
Was it just a crush? Well it could have been. He would take it to the scrap heap, but he   
had had a huge crush on Carmen before the heads at ACME had assigned him as her partner for   
the first time. Of course once he had gotten to know her he settled for being her best friend...  
  
Was it Love?  
  
Well there had to be some kind of affection otherwise...  
  
Was it LOVE?  
  
Ach. Why was he thinking like this? But he considered it anyway. His mind spun for   
several minutes, and finally it came up conflicted. True, he did care deeply for her. And in a twisted   
sense they had acted out many a script-worthy love scene during their traditional after-case coffee   
dates. But he definitely couldn't see them attempting any of the over-hyped unrealistic acts paraded   
on Melrose Place. He cared for her, but was his affection for her so strong that it constituted loving   
her? And how did he love her, IF he did love her? Love in any form came in quite a wide range.   
  
When he got down to the basics of this whole argument with himself he cared for her. But   
why did he say that with so much certainty? Was it because he had hung around so long while others   
quickly dismissed her as a traitor? That he secretly cheered each time she got away with one of her   
famous escapes? Because of a few simple, yearly, games of chess?  
  
And why was he still on this tangent? What was he trying to rationale down?  
  
"How could I have been so blind?" Finally Marie was wrapping up.  
  
The Chief seized the opportunity "Love is a very strange thing Mamselle. It shows us parts   
of ourselves we never knew existed."He admitted frankly "I am sorry for your troubles." He   
added as an afterthought.  
  
"Thank you for being so honest Monsieur. You are a wonderful listener.   
Shall we see Notre-Dame now?"  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
  
  
  
"You have the boat and the equipment ready?" Carmen asked into the C-5's car   
phone, "Sara is moving it now? Good. Are the land and air transports operational? Well   
make sure get them online sooner than that, we don't know when we're going to need them.  
And tell Manny to work with Sara in debugging the transfer devices; we don't want   
what happened last time... Ivy, haven't you found a parking space YET?"  
  
"No... And the European traffic isn't improving things.. Hey! Cut it out ya jerk!"  
  
"Ivy he can't understand you." Carmen said, as she hung up.  
  
"I know. But it makes me feel a lot better... Hey! You little..." Ivy screeched as a   
group of teenagers narrowly missed plowing into them. "That's it! I'm parking it!"  
  
"In the middle of the street?" Carmen asked, "Do you remember what happened last time?"  
  
"I'm just putting the Car back in storage..." Ivy said, shooting her a look as she   
activated the C-5, "We're going to have a better time finding a needle in a haystack than   
a parking space." They got out and Car jumped into space as the portal opened up."I had   
heard that the City was having a parking problem, I just never knew how bad it was.."  
  
"How is Zack doing?" Carmen asked.  
  
"Zack is doing fine!" Zack's voice buzzed from Ivy's wrist, "Zack has got the Chief in   
his sights and is about to follow him into Notre Dame."  
  
"Good job Zack. Just make sure you don't loose him! Call back when you're inside..." Ivy   
said. She signed off her communicator and turned to Carmen. "How far away is Notre Dame?"  
  
Carmen looked around at the nearby street signs. "About a mile and a half that way. Anyway   
we could get the C-5 car back?"  
  
Ivy shook her head. "Nope. Not for another hour at least. Government regulations."  
  
"Blast." Carmen glanced at her watch "And the Chief is going into meltdown at 8pm. We've   
got about 10 hours to find him, get him to the Normandy coast, make the switch and dump the body"  
  
"Then we'd better hurry" Ivy said dryly.  
  
***  
  
"... If we wish to get to the Tower before the noon rush, we must hurry here." Marie   
said as they entered the Church. "I still cannot believe that you have never been in a church!"  
  
"Well.. I have and I haven't. You see.." The Chief started before one little old lady hushed   
him. "Sorry, Ma'am"  
  
Marie giggled. "Perhaps you had best stay quiet, and let the grace of Our Lady speak for   
herself?"  
  
"Good idea" the Chief said as they walked around the ancient building. And slowly   
the church did start to speak. The soft whispers of those praying, and lighting prayer candles, the   
incense curling from its holders… Even the stone cradled around them. The Chief stroked a pillar,   
lightly, as he passes by. The soft, scratchy, worn surface spoke volumes in itself.  
  
It spoke of age. It spoke of purity.  
  
It spoke of Peace.  
***  
  
  
"Look, Monsieur, just let me in there for a moment!"  
  
"I am sorry young man, but if you cannot pay, you cannot go inside!"  
  
"Monsieur.. Monsieur!" Zack yelped as he was thrown down to the steps of Notre   
Dame. "Geez, I know you people are French, but..."  
  
"Zack!.. Zack, you there?" Ivy's voice came from the communicator. It sounded like   
she was running.  
  
"Ivy... Yeah, I'm right here, sis..."  
  
"Zack, how's the Chief doing?"  
  
"Er... Fine, I guess... how are you?" Zack improvised, wincing  
  
"Zack... You DO know where the Chief is... right?!"  
  
"Well... the general area... y'know.. Notre Dame."  
  
"And?"  
  
"Well, I tried to sneak in after them, but one of the priests caught me and threw   
me out.."  
  
"Zack! Why didn't you just tell him you were from ACME?!"  
  
"Look, just tell him to keep and eye on the exits," Carmen's voice came, "We'll be   
there in a little while."  
  
"Watch the exits. Got it. Hey where are you guys? You sound like you're running..."  
  
"We are." Ivy told him.  
  
"Well what about the C-5 car? What about the C-5?"  
  
"We're only a few blocks away... we'll get there soon, just… make sure you know   
where he is..." Ivy ordered before signing out.  
  
  
  
"Did you like Our Lady?" Marie asked as they walked out.  
  
"Oh... yes. It was... very beautiful." The Chief said softly  
  
"You sound sad." Marie commented, as she looked him.  
  
"No just... Well... I suppose 'Moved' would be the best way to put it."  
  
Marie smiled, and put her arm in his. "Wonderful! Then, perhaps, you shall try   
going to church again?"  
  
"If I ever get another chance, yes."  
  
"Good." Marie said, hugging his arm. "The tower waits. Shall we?"  
  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Carmen and Ivy were almost out of breath when they rounded a corner and saw   
Zack waving his arms franticly at them.   
  
"We're here! We're here all ready!" Ivy told him, forcing his arms to his sides.  
  
"Yeah, well the Chief isn't anymore!" Zack told them  
  
"What?" Carmen said  
  
"He and the girl left all ready, they went that-a -way!" Zack explained, pointing down   
a crowded street.  
  
"Gah! Why is Paris so damn busy?" Ivy yelled  
  
"Ivy, less crabbing, more weaving. Let's get into that mess and find them!" Carmen   
said taking off at Top speed.  
  
  
  
  
"What kind of flowers are these?" Chief asked Marie, stopping at a nearby street   
vendor.  
  
"I can't say exactly," Marie admitted, bending down to smell the sweet small blue   
flowers, "But I do recognize them from my aunts home in Normandy. The field close to   
her house is blanketed with them during the spring and summer months."  
  
The Chief leaned in to better get the scent as well but when he pulled back to talk   
to Marie again he was hit by some unseen force.  
  
"Oh no! Sir? Are you all right?" Marie squealed  
  
"Boy, those things sure do have a kick to them…" He commented before rolling   
over on his back and seeing Marie, Ivy Zack and Carmen standing over him. "What the heck?"   
he said in English.  
  
"Zack! You didn't have to hit him that hard!" Ivy said, ask she manhandled her brother   
to his feet.  
  
"Well sooorrry! Ow!" Zack yelped as he was 'helped' up.  
  
"Do you know these people?" Marie asked suspiciously as Carmen helped   
the Chief up.  
  
"We know him from work." Carmen tried to explain, as the Chief got his   
balance back. Marie grabbed his arm, nearly knocking him off balance again.  
  
"Oh no you don't! For the rest of his vacation he is going to be having fun with   
me! We are going to walk the streets then head for the sky!" Maire pouted. Carmen   
frowned.  
  
"It won't take that long, I assure you. And if he doesn't take care of it now, he   
could very well loose his life!" Carmen patently explained, quietly emphasizing the words   
that were more than one syllable.   
  
"Loose my life?" Chief asked, quite concerned, in English.  
  
It was at that moment that Zack tried to give Ivy a good hard push. Unfortunately,   
Zack was still a little off balance, so the push he gave her toppled him instead throwing him   
right into the flower-seller's baskets. As Carmen turned to see the source of the commotion,   
Marie pulled the Chief onto a waiting cable car that left shortly after.  
  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"Zack! Do you have to do this everywhere we go?" Ivy whined. Carmen paid the   
vendor a ludicrous sum and a mumbled apology about them being "Stupid Americans".  
  
"Ivy, where did the Chief go?" she asked the teen  
  
"What?" Ivy asked  
  
"The Chief! Your boss! Big badda boom! He was just here!" Carmen said  
  
"Oh no… Zack! Did you see where they went?" Ivy asked her brother.  
  
Zack peeked up from the pavement. "Of course not!"  
  
"Eh!" a voice crept up from behind them. The trio turned to see the vendor. "They hopped   
on the cable car. It just left. You just missed them." She said in a thick accent.  
  
"Woah, she speaks English!" Zack said in wonder. Ivy smacked him upside the head.  
  
"They said something about skipping the Louvre and heading for the sky." Carmen told the   
woman, "Would that mean anything?"  
  
The woman thought for a moment. "That car, that car only goes to the Louvre and the   
Eiffel tower. Then it ends. Your friends must be headed to the tower." She said, counting the money   
Carmen had given her.  
  
"Thank you! Thank you very much ma'am!" Carmen smiled at the old woman, "And sorry   
again about your wares!" She and the teens took off in the general direction the woman had pointed,   
"Ivy can you activate the C5 car?"  
  
"I can and I all ready am." Ivy said, fooling with her communicator.  
  
  
  
"Marie! What did you just do?" Chief asked as the cable car pulled away.  
  
"Why, get you out of sticky situation monsieur." Marie told him confidently, grabbing hold   
to one of the rails as the car lurched around a corner.  
  
"But they were trying to warn me of an attempt on my life, that's usually important!" Chief   
tried to explain. The other passengers seemed to be alarmed.  
  
Marie gently placed her hand on his right solder. "If they want to talk to you so bad, they'll   
come and find you. Now be quiet, you are scaring the others."  
  
"You can be a real bitch when you want to…" he muttered under his voice.  
  
Marie's smile suddenly had an edge to it. "But of course. For the moment, though let's go to   
meet maman"  
  
  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++  
"What do you mean we have to wait?" Carmen asked the Elevator attendant.  
  
"The elevator operates on a basic pulley system ma'am. When one set of cars goes   
up, another set is going down. So, if you want an up car, you will have to wait just a few minutes,   
or you can take the stairs." The attendant told her, going back to her switchboard.  
  
"What did she say?" asked Ivy.  
  
"She said, we're going to have to take the stairs," Carmen told them.  
  
  
  
"I love this," Marie said, leaning over the railing at the top of the tower.  
  
"What? The breeze?" Chief asked, keeping a healthy distance from the edge.  
  
"No… The view… the spectacle of Paris! It's breathtaking…" Marie told him,   
opening her arms as if trying to embrace the sky itself.  
  
"Oh." Chief said shortly, inching a bit ahead to see.  
  
"Oh?"Marie asked. She smiled, and taking his hands and led him slowly to the   
edge. The Chief took a long look over the sharp colors, the ant-like pedestrians, the hovering   
wisps of clouds and the proud gray city as a whole.  
  
"I think I see now. I just… never thought of it that way before." He finally told her.  
  
"You don't get out much, do you?" Marie asked, sarcastically.  
  
"Nope. Why don't you explain it all to me?" The Chief asked her.  
  
"What all to you?" Marie asked.  
  
"This. Paris. Views. Loving. Everything."  
  
"Everything, eh? That covers a lot of ground. Well. Let's start at something easy: love.   
Love… is that fire in your belly that your lover fans. The passion and the heat of the beautiful and   
the tempting." Marie told him.  
  
"And that feeling can be easily translated into views?" Chief asked, looking back   
out over Paris.  
  
"Not quite… The fire in the belly has different kinds of heat. This," She said, her arm   
sweeping over Paris, "This view invokes, in me at least, the embrace of a good friend back   
after a long trip. While this," She said, slipping the Chiefs arms around her shoulders, "This   
is a different happiness altogether."  
  
"The happily ever after kind?" The Chief asked, interested.  
  
"Happily… oh my.." Marie pulled out of the embrace and put her hand over her   
mouth to silence the laughter that was bubbling up. "You poor boy! Don't you know there's   
no such thing?"  
  
"Why do you say that?" Chief asked, taking a step back.  
  
"It is just an emotion. Not permanent! It is like pity or sorrow, distracting of course,   
but life would not be life without it. Life should be happily enjoyed, of course... but Ever after?   
Oh no, no, no!" Marie told him, the laughter bubbling up again.  
  
"That's a rather cynical approach," Chief told her, disturbed. He was far from head   
over heels for this girl, but it was rather disturbing to hear someone you were with talking about   
love in the same breath as pain.  
  
"I'm very sorry monsieur," She said, clapping her hand to his shoulder in rough   
camaraderie. "But I lead a very cynical life. I don't think of such things in the light you do"  
  
"Well what of your husband?" Chief had to ask.  
  
Marie gave him a look that could freeze the ocean. "I don't understand your meaning   
monsieur."  
  
"Your husband. When you married him I doubt the advancement of his affairs with   
other women was a high topic in your mind. You must have dreamed of 'such things', with him   
or you would have not married at all." he pointed out.  
  
"Yes. All right, I suppose you are right. I was blinded by my hopes once, yes. But   
not again. Not ever again. The only thing true about true love is the desire for it to be real."   
Marie told him.  
  
"That desire can't have merit on it's own?" he asked.  
  
Marie turned back to him and he saw that she was becoming upset, "Why do you say   
these things monsieur? If you wish to drive me away there are far easier methods." she said.  
  
"I..I.. just wanted to see the truth in the matter." he got out.  
  
"Truth?" Marie asked bitterly, "Truth or seeing that your own little hopes can   
become reality?"  
  
"Well now!" Marguerite's cheerful voice broke in, as she strolled up in her good   
suit with a smile playing on her lips, "What were you two lovebirds discussing so seriously?"  
  
"The existence of true love." Chief told her.  
  
"Ah! An appropriate subject indeed!" Marguerite giggled.  
  
"Maman… it was not what you think." Marie protested.  
  
"Of course not," Marguerite said, giving her daughter a condescending little pat on   
the hand. As Marie gapped she grabbed the elbow of Chief's arm and began leading him on a   
walk around the platform, "So what did you do today?" She asked him.  
  
"Well, we saw Notre Dame. I particularly liked that. And we walked around a   
bit…" he said  
  
"Really? And what did you like best about our lady?" she asked. Marie   
hurried to catch up.  
  
"Everything ma'am. It was my first time I've set foot in a church"  
  
Marguerite's face dropped a bit, "It is?" she asked, a little disappointed.  
  
Marie tried to break into the conversation, "Maman, isn't the view today particularly…"  
  
Marguerite interrupted, "You aren't an Atheist are you?" she asked urgently.  
  
"Maman!" Marie said, horrified, "If he is an Atheist, that's his business!   
You shouldn't annoy him!"  
  
"Now wait just a minute.." the Chief started  
  
Marguerite stopped, and turning she let go of the Chief's arm, "Don't you dare talk back to   
me, my little cabbage!"  
  
"Oh don't start maman!" Marie whined  
  
"I gave you life…" Marguerite started  
  
"... Yes, yes 27 hours worth of labor.." Marie muttered  
  
"And I can take it away!" Marie and her mother said in sync.  
  
Chief started backing away, "Perhaps I should get going…" he told them.  
  
"Why are you leaving so soon?" Marguerite asked, getting a good hold on his arm once again  
  
"Apparently he feels his life is in danger and that we can't protect him!" Marie pouted  
  
"Is this true monsieur?" Marguerite asked  
  
Chief, hoping that she would take this as a viable excuse said "It appears so ma'am"  
  
Marguerite just got a better grip on his arm. "Well then, the safest place in the world is for   
you to be right here with us!"  
  
The Chief felt himself pulling back, "I'm not entirely sure of that ma'am"  
  
"Why not ask those two other girls we bumped into to protect you eh?" Marie asked as   
Marguerite hauled the Chief back.  
  
"That's what I was planning on doing." Chief told them  
  
"Other women?" Marguerite asked  
  
"I know them from work, they were the ones who told me of the attempt on my   
life." Chief explained.  
  
Oh now... they were probably just trying to get you to come back to work early!"   
Marguerite rationalized.   
  
"I doubt that ma'am." Chief told her.  
  
Marie mumbled something about turning men off before she can get them to commit to   
anything. Marguerite seemed to get a good deal more of the conversation that the Chief and said, "Well   
maybe if you'd show a little skin…"  
  
"Mother!" Marie yelped, horrified and exasperated.  
  
"Monsieur, don't you think my daughter would look better if she showed a little flesh? Just a   
little?" Marguerite asked  
  
"I.. honestly wouldn't be the best judge of that."  
  
"And why not?" Marguerite asked.  
  
"Well for one I just met her, and two I'm really an android." Chief explained.  
  
Marie and her mother both took a long look at him.   
  
Finally Marie broke the silence, "Well that just tears it!" And another shouting match   
broke out.  
  
All the yelling made the Chief's neck hurt. He ran his hands over the base of his skull, trying to   
think of how best to get away, when he suddenly realized the two women were no longer around. He   
looked behind him to see Marie going down a flight of stairs as fast as her heels could carry her with   
Marguerite close behind. Marguerite turned before going down the next level of stairs and came back   
to where the Chief was standing.   
  
"Please monsieur, wait here a little while. I shall fetch my daughter shortly." She told him   
before heading down the rickety steps at top speed.  
  
The Chief had to blink. That was rather sudden. He turned back to look over the railing   
again and began wondering if all human families settled their differences with yelling and public scenes…  
  
"Chief!" Ivy screamed.  
  
Chief snapped out of his musings, and turned to see Ivy Zack and Carmen sprinting over to   
him. "Oh hey guys... Listen I… Gah!" he yelped as Ivy pinned his hands behind his back and slammed   
him into the railing, "What's wrong? Cut it out! That hurts!"  
  
"Chief, listen to me," Carmen whispered, "You're going to come with us, and move quickly, so   
we can get to an uninhabited area before the bomb goes off."  
  
"Thank you…" the chief told Ivy as she let go of his arm, "Wait. What bomb?"  
  
++++++++++++++++++  
  
"All units, prepare for interception," Carmen yelled into the radio over the choppy waves the   
speedboat was cutting through, "ETA 10 minutes. Detonation 25. We're going to have to work fast   
people!"  
  
"It's going to be OK chief!" Ivy yelled over the motor.  
  
Chief turned back to her, his face dead white, knuckles white as they gripped his knees,   
"What?" he yelled back.  
  
Ivy settled for smiling and squeezing his elbow. Zack was prepping a laptop, under   
Bellum's instructions through an ear bud with a radio links. Carmen leaned forward; her hand   
clamped the throttle to full, hoping they would make it in time.  
  
A makeshift raft, swarming with VILE vehicles and personnel, finally came into view.   
Carmen docked roughly and the detectives hurried the Chief out of the boat.  
  
"Move it everyone, only essential equipment. We've only got 15 minutes left. Sara,   
what's the status?"  
  
"All systems operational," Bellum said, "Is the laptop primed?"  
  
"And ready to go," Zack told her, handing it over. Bellum started hooking up cabled   
to the PC. On of the anonymous henchmen started attaching electrodes to the Chief. Zack   
was helping Sara and Ivy was revving the boat with the other henchmen ready to get out of   
there, fast.  
  
"Carmen?" the Chief asked around the helpful henchman.  
  
Carmen came over, "What?"  
  
"I'm sorry for all your trouble. I know you're all in danger and it's all my fault…"  
  
"It's not your fault Chief. Don't think that it is." She told him as the last electrode was   
placed, "Did you enjoy it?"  
  
"What?" asked the Chief.  
  
"Being human." Carmen said  
  
The Chief broke into a grin, despite himself, "Yes. Oh yes. Did I ever."  
  
"Well then it was worth it." Carmen pointed out.  
  
"We're ready! Everyone clear!" Bellum yelped.  
  
Carmen gave him a quick peck on the lips before returning to the boat with Ivy. Chief was   
furiously contemplating that kiss when the pain hit…  
  
  
  
  
"Transfer is 90% complete… 4 minutes until detonation." Sara intoned. The motors sputtered   
in the silence that was heavy on the shoulders of the party. Someone dropped a lug nut and everyone   
could hear the peel-bell tone of the metal. "100%! Opening up temporary program…" The chief opened   
up and filled the laptop screen. "Sing a song of sixpence?" Sarah asked  
  
"Pocket… Pocket full of rye."  
  
"Four and twenty blackbirds?" she asked  
  
"Baked… in a… in a pie." He answered.  
  
"We got him! Cut all cables!" Sara said as she leapt into Carmen and the detectives boat. A   
henchman used the glowing blade from the Akula heist to cut the cables and everyone maxed out the   
throttles. The resulting typhoon saturated the raft and the Chief's now-metallic body. 2 Minutes to go.  
  
"We're not going to make it, we're not going to make it!" Zack yelped.  
  
Carmen hit a button on the console and the armrest between the siblings popped up. "Zack,   
store the Chief and let's get out of here…"  
  
Zack did as he was told, and was about the place the bag with the comp in the rest when an   
explosion sang through the air around them. "What the…"  
  
"Zack, store the Chief. Now." Carmen said, her voice wavering.   
  
Zack put the bag in the rest, and then unconsciously looked behind them. A 30-foot high   
fireball and an even taller tsunami rose up and came at them fast. Zack was frozen to the spot.   
  
Ivy rolled her eyes at her brother's incompetence and closed the rest. "Any time now!"  
  
Carmen hit another button and jet engines came out of the back of the boat, sending them far   
from the oncoming apocalypse. Then, with the push of another button, the foils to the boat turned into   
wings and the four joined the rest of VILE in the Sunday evening sky.  
  
  
  
Epilogue  
  
Chief gave a weary smile as the minutes before shutdown ticked away. Mondays were   
always bad, but this one was the worst. The amount of backed up paper work, the detectives asking   
him what the heck had happened. The techs trying to figure out the logistics…Thankfully Zack and Ivy   
had convinced the higher-up to chalk it up to a computer glitch.  
  
Fortunately there had been some bright spots during the day. In the international news, ecologists   
were still trying to figure out what had caused an unnatural tsunami off the coast of France. Hundreds   
of thousands of dollars in property damage had resulted but no one had gotten hurt. So far government   
sanctioned dumping of illegal chemicals was being blamed, but it seemed like it would be one of those   
questions that never got an answer.  
  
Then there were the other newspapers. One gossip columnist could have sworn she saw Carmen   
Sandiego, or at least a woman who was a dead ringer for her, fighting with ACME agents after a car wreck   
in the middle of Paris then dragging some mysterious gentleman off the Eiffel tower. And in the tabloids, a   
local eccentric claimed she had set her daughter up with an android; A polite, sweetheart of an android, but   
an android nonetheless…  
  
The Chief watched the countdown go to two minutes. This time he was hoping for the zero. He   
couldn't remember been so tired. And cranky... And happy… And silly. No matter how many times he had   
run the hard drive defragmenter he still had remnants of his time in Paris. Muted sensations and traces of   
real emotion, not the sight gags he had been programmed to do. He had hoped that they would work their   
way out of the system, but now he was starting to get used to them…  
  
The clock turned over and reset for morning. Chief blinked. That wasn't supposed to happen…   
Suddenly the Internet connection opened up and transported him…  
  
… to Carmen's room in the Manor. "Hey" she said.  
  
"Hey." He said.  
  
"Bad Monday?" she asked  
  
"To say the least." He told her, "Kept up with the news recently?"  
  
"Yeah… although people don't usually say I look just like me. I've already had to start planning   
my comeback heist."  
  
"Really. When might that be?" he asked, watching her fuss with pieces on a chessboard.  
  
"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise." Carmen scolded. "Speaking of which… Got a surprise for you."  
  
"Really? Is it bigger than a bread box?" he asked.  
  
"A bit…" she said, picking up a pocket flat screen monitor and touching the corners of the screen.   
After a moment she turned it around so he could see the screen.  
  
"It's another body..." he said, sounding skeptical  
  
"No. It's the start of another body, minus the explosives, timer or anything else that would pose a   
danger for you or the rest of the populace. It should be ready around Thanksgiving, so the next time you   
come to play chess with me, you won't have to rely on me to move the pieces for you. I'm trying to get   
Sara to tune down the pain levels on entry, but it's still being worked on. We're using our Chief program as   
a guinea pig, and it's not too happy with us…" Carmen smiled.  
  
"I can imagine..." The Chief said, imagining that winy little upstart getting the hurt of his short life   
put on him.  
  
"You two just don't get along, do you?" Carmen asked, still smiling.  
  
"Well duh!" the Chief commented pulling a face, "But HE gets to hang out around the henchmen,   
steal my look, talk in that weird voice of his, make me look bad and see you on a daily basis! What do I get?"  
  
"You get thanksgiving with me." Carmen said. "And Christmas and New Years, if Sara gets the   
shell finished on time. And even if she doesn't…"  
  
"Oh yeah. How many months away are…" Chief asked.  
  
"Three. But to hold you over." Carmen said, indicating the carefully set up chessboard.  
  
"What's this?" Chief asked.  
  
"A welcome home present. One game?" Carmen asked.  
  
"Sounds great." The Chief told her, an understatement. They took their traditional places and made   
their first moves.  
  
"So," the Chief asked conversationally, "How was your day?"  
  
  
  
  
THE END  
  
  



End file.
